Field-Storming Roundup: An Amused UFC President, And The Menace Of A Security Guard Gone Rogue

Try to imagine a fan running on the area of play during a baseball, football, or basketball game, and imagine Bud Selig, Roger Goodell, or David Stern, or Theodore Southeasternconference reacting with bemusement. That is impossible to imagine; I’m sorry for sending you on a fool’s errand. Meanwhile, let’s turn our attention to a sporting league in its relative adolescence.

This was tweeted by UFC president Dana White during UFC 138, which was held in Birmingham, England, on Saturday. I should establish some context by noting that this tweet is sandwiched in Mr. White’s timeline between tweeting “f*** u” at somebody and tweeting “shut up u f***in idiot!” at somebody else, which are also things that the likes of David Stern are polite enough to communicate through their actions, rather than stating them explicitly.

This, since I know you’re curious, is what Mr. White was reacting to.

For a field-storming (we’ll just a call this a “field”-storming, okay), this is remarkably brief and unspectacular; at five seconds, this is certainly the shortest I’ve ever documented. Its intrigue lies in its uniqueness -- not only its brevity, but the unconventional storming venue and the PA system providing a strangely perfect soundtrack in Gary Jules’ “Mad World.”

And, of course, because of the response of the league’s president. He celebrated it! He was bemused! Now, Mr. White’s record of public comments certainly isn’t a perfect one, but let’s credit him for being what none of his commissioning peers will ever be: someone who can see something amusing and be candid enough to admit to the fans that, yes, he saw it too, and he thought it was funny too. Thank you for being a human being, sir.

I’d like to clarify that I’m not championing this as a victory for field-stormers. I’m not advocating that field-stormers should escape consequences, nor am I urging you to go and storm a field. You shouldn’t. It will not be worth it. I’m only arguing that we do what sets our heart free, and that when we are entertained by a person who runs on the field of play, we should admit to ourselves that we are entertained.

And further, when a field-storming is more or less permitted by the immediate governing body, we should keep a keen vigil, and take notice when their safety is endangered. Especially when the threat is represented in the form of the security personnel itself.

This video was taken on October 29th, after Minnesota’s 22-21 victory over Iowa.

This is the first time I’ve addressed an en masse, end-of-game field-storming. Rushing the field after a win is a staple of college football, and as long as I’m on the subject, I’d like to set forth the argument that these field-stormings are always fine. Student bodies tend to catch a lot of flak if, say, they rush the field after their No. 6 team beats an unranked team by two touchdowns.

Why? Why does Twitter shriek with accusations of poor taste? Their team won, they are happy, and they are doing something that makes them happier. Never listen to these people. They are sad and do not matter. Go out there and have yourself a party.

Back to the subject at hand: in the video, please witness the security guard in the pink jacket. As Gopher fans rush the gridiron, he sets up like a strong safety, throwing his shoulders into kids left and right, knocking at least one of them over (unconfirmed reports suggest that over a dozen people were knocked to the ground). This was not his job. His job was simply to protect the “stadium’s assets” -- in other words, to ensure that the goalposts weren’t torn down, etc.

So no, that was not his job, and now nothing is his job, because he has been fired. Now, within the bold and brave industry of field-storming, security personnel are valued and appreciated people. They provide drama to the hijinx. Without them, there would be no true story, because there would be no agent of conflict. Sometimes they are hapless stooges, and sometimes they are ruthless purveyors of a breathless tackle.

This knucklehead was evidently never sat down and made to understand how this whole thing works. He’s the little brother who heard you quote a Simpsons joke to your friends and parrots it a dozen times at the dinner table. You missed the point, rook, and while I prefer not to celebrate the loss of one’s job, I do hope your next course of employment will provide you a means to learning you something.

Indeed, we as field-storming enthusiasts have had two things to celebrate of late: an figure of authority who celebrates as we do, and a decision by a governing body that has landed in the favor of those in pursuit of a fun time. I can hardly wait for the next episode of field-storming. If you see one, of course, a tweet in the direction of @jon_bois would be much appreciated.

For further adventures in field-storming, please see our archive of baseball field-stormers at Baseball Nation.