A firefight in Abbottabad, Pakistan is how it all ended for Osama bin Laden. Or, a bullet to the head, to be exact. This despite his attempts to use his wife as a human shield. So, yes. The world’s better off without bin Laden.
Osama Bin Laden Is Dead. What Does That Have Do With Sports?
He’d come to personify evil over the past ten years. We chased him all over the Middle East, and he always got away--that’s why Sunday night’s news felt so cathartic for so many of us. Not because killing Osama wins the war on terror, but because with Osama alive, it felt like a victory for terrorists.
Even if its symbolism outstripped any tangible impact Bin Laden’s death may have on the fight against terrorism, it was still a classic, badass moment during an era when America’s been defined by paranoia and partisanship. This was simple: We said we were gonna get him, and we did.
It may not be justice, because there weren’t enough bullets in the world to hold Osama accountable for what he did to America as a country and Islam as a religion. But it’s revenge, and that’s good enough for me. Was it a “major turning point in the war on terror” like NBC News said? Who knows.
It’ll take a lot longer to read whether this is the denouement to an ugly chapter of American history or merely a red herring. But either way, we got him, and that’s enough to make this a good day.
Anyway, everyone can see this news differently. Others saw it as a major victory for America in the war on terror, and that’s cool, too. Others, like Chris Douglas-Roberts, wondered why everyone was celebrating. And still others, like Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio, saw this as a call-to-action for NFL negotiators. Ummmmmmm:
With the NFL schedule carefully crafted to permit several weeks that are missed on the front end due to a lockout to be made up during bye weeks and/or by the tacking of extra weekends onto the back end of the regular season, the finality that has come from the completion of the protracted mission to capture or kill bin Laden makes it even more important that the NFL properly commemorate the 10th anniversary of one of the darkest days in American history.
Yes, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion and their own interpretation, but likewise, we’re all entitled to call that interpretation completely ridiculous. Or perhaps, the dumbest, most insulting conclusion anyone could possibly draw from Sunday night. To wit, Tommy Craggs weighs in at Deadspin:
[Florio’s reasoning] is so silly and facile that not even Peter King thinks he thinks it. ... Besides, does anyone else quietly dread the prospect of 9/11 football? Do you realize what we’re in for? They cover the sport in so much warpaint and bunting and surly jingoism as is — remember when the country mistook the 2002 Patriots for the 101st Airborne? — that we can’t be more than one or two 9/11 anniversaries from ceremonially blowing up a mosque at halftime.
Right. Especially the NFL-jingoism part.
There are a lot of ways to interpret Sunday night’s news, and the implications are still beyond our full comprehension. But this much is certain--those implications have absolutely nothing to do with sports. It’s what bugs me anytime there’s some time-stopping cultural event that steals our attention away from sports. Whenever that happens, without fail, you’ll have columnists that look to exploit it by drawing a connection to sports. It detracts from the news itself, but more than anything, it detracts from sports.
If columnists want to talk about Bin Laden’s death because it’s all anyone can talk about today, then they should talk about Bin Laden’s death. But don’t insult us with some idiotic connection to the NFL. Sports are supposed to be separate from all that. And that’s why we love sports.
Tweeting About Osama Bin Laden. Since Osama is all anyone can talk about today, we might as well run with it. So here's an essay on Osama bin Laden composed entirely of athlete tweets. "Since we caught Osama do I still have to take my laptop out at security?"
Live-Tweeting About Osama Bin Laden. As soon as news broke of Obama’s press conference, Twitter came alive like never before, and before long, the news was broken that it was about Osama bin Laden. For breaking news, nothing touches Twitter. You know this.
It never stops being weird hearing about deaths on Twitter, though, if only because nobody knows exactly what tone to strike. In any case, there were 4,000 tweets per second as the news unfolded last night, but nobody beats this guy, who was in Abbottabad when U.S. forces raided Osama’s mansion, and just happened to be Twitter-ing away the entire time. At the end of it?
You can read all his tweets here. The “helicopter swatter” is my favorite part. (via Tech Crunch)
So, That Was A Pretty Badass Week For Obama, Huh? For the record, his birth certificate situation still seems miiiiiiiighty questionable, but otherwise, the Obama administration couldn't have asked for a much better week. Here's video of his speech at the White House Correspondent's Dinner, where he pretty much ether'd Donald Trump's presidential chances:
And yes, coming out to Hulk Hogan’s “Real American” song was probably the coolest thing he’s ever done. You know, before killing Osama bin Laden and all that. Here’s the text of the speech he gave Sunday night, which wasn’t quite as funny, but pretty much perfect.
And Here's What The White House Looked Like When It Happened. From the White House's Twitter feed: "The President, VP, national security team get updated on mission against Osama bin Laden in the Sit Room, 5/1/11"
How Did They Kill Him? With a special ops team that sounds like the most badass thing of all time. JSOC, to be exact. The mission was not without its "white-knuckle moments" and afterward, they used some seriously high-tech DNA-technology to make sure it was him.
Officials described the reaction of the special operators when they were told a number of weeks ago that they had been chosen to train for the mission.
“They were told, ‘We think we found Osama bin Laden, and your job is to kill him,’” an official recalled.
The SEALs started to cheer.
Radioing a commander on Sunday, the team reported the capture with a pre-arranged signal: “Geronimo!”
Dispatches From The Middle East. Now seems like a good time to go back and re-read all the quotes from Pakistani diplomats who swore up and down that Osama bin Laden was not being harbored in Pakistan. On the other hand, at least we can take solace that Osama was holed up in a place that smelled of "bad B.O. and goat urine."
What Better Way To Celebrate This Occasion than with a bin Laden-themed celebration at Miami's most famous Gentleman's Club, King of Diamonds? This land is your land, this land is my land...
Finally, That Rant From The Best 9/11 Movie Ever. Maybe it's because I saw it in New York City a little while after 9/11, but The 25th Hour has always been my favorite movie about 9/11, even if it's not really about 9/11. Especially because it's not about 9/11. In fact, the book that spawned the movie was written before the terrorist attacks. But that's the whole point; you couldn't tell a story about New Yorkers New York City without touching on 9/11. There's no better testament to 9/11's impact than that simple reality. 9/11 underpinned every interaction, every emotion, every story.
And watching all the Osama coverage late into the night on Sunday, my mind drifted back to this 25th Hour-rant about New York. The whole thing's highly NSFW, and at the 3:25-mark it turns to Osama:
“On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your 72 whores, roasting in a jet fuel fire in hell. ... You can kiss my royal Irish ass.”
And... Yep, that’s just about perfect, I think.
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