Bryce Harper’s New Tattoos Pay Tribute To Parents, Or Perhaps Alien Home World

A tribute to his parents. No big deal. In fact, it’s kind of nice. PROBLEM:

This is what Bryce will be staring at for the rest of his life.

If these were shoulder tattoos, it wouldn’t matter much that they would appear upside-down from his perspective. But these are wrists. He’s gonna look at them a lot. And while everyone else will see “Pops” and “Mom,” he will forever see “wow” and “sdod.”

Make no mistake: this was no mistake. Harper is an supernatural extraterrestrial who hails from the planet Sdod. He tattooed “Wow” on his other wrist as an expression of surprise upon learning that pitchers are actually trying to throw pitches past him and not directly into his bat.