Today in Profiles in Pick-up Basketball, we examine...
Profiles In Pick-up Basketball: The Guy Who Calls A Foul And Insists He Never Calls Fouls
...the guy who calls a foul, and then spends an eternity explaining that he never calls fouls. Read on.
This Profile in Pick-up Basketball was originally suggested by Sebastian Pruiti of the indispensable NBA Playbook.
“Pick-up basketball” implies that amateurs are involved, which means the affair is bound to be clumsy and ache-inducing. If a foul is an isolated incident, it isn’t called.
Nonetheless, as a gesture of goodwill, you’re expected to raise the issue. Occasionally, the player will actually accept your offer.
It is a shocking development.
The fouled individual understands the gravity of his request. He gets up, looks around, and observes disappointed looks, even from his teammates. He can’t really un-call the foul, for fear that he’ll look like he’s trying to hoard excuse currency to squander on the losing end of the score when the game is over.
So instead, he opts to try to establish the degree of the foul itself by explaining that he doesn’t ever call fouls unless they’re a really, really, really big deal.
shut up
shut up
shut up
AGH WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP
More Profiles in Pick-up Basketball:
Your guide to the 2011 pick-up season
The guy who tries to draw up plays
The guy who doesn’t understand tips
The guy who can’t dunk and will never stop trying
See More:
