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This Occasion Wasn’t Going To Sully Itself

by Jon Bois

When your teammate hits his 600th home run, the first order of business is to engage in a giant sex orgy. NOT SO FAST, EVERYONE. From a press release that landed in my inbox this morning:

↵↵NuVo CONDOMS DONATES 600 CONDOMS TO CELEBRATE THOME’S 600TH HOMERUN

↵As a congratulatory gift for Thome’s incredible feat, NuVo sent the Minnesota Twins 600 condoms. NuVo hopes this offering to the team will help keep the Twins players and their partners safe during their celebrations!

↵↵I realize how frightening a picture this paints, but don’t worry. It’s Minnesota. Everyone just ate porridge and went to bed.

↵

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