The Baltimore Orioles Were Glad Nobody Watched Them On Wednesday

The Baltimore Orioles are a Major League Baseball team. As such, they generally want as many people to watch them as possible. More attention means more popularity, and it means more money, which can aid the organization in its hunt to remain competitive. Players like Mike Gonzalez and Vladimir Guerrero won't sign themselves.

However, Wednesday afternoon, the Orioles played a road matinee against the Oakland Athletics. This was a game that pretty much nobody watched, and for that, in this instance, the Orioles were thankful. Why were they thankful? Because over the course of the game, they looked really stupid. It's one thing to be seen losing. The Orioles are very frequently seen losing. It's quite another to be seen screwing everything up. That's just embarrassing. It benefits nobody to be seen like that.

(1)

The Orioles very quickly darted out to a 2-0 lead in the top of the first. They were trailing before they recorded an out in the bottom. Part of it had to do with the pitching, but part of it had to do with Nolan Reimold, right here, doing this with the bases loaded. Reimold got caught like a flat-footed hockey defender. The line they say in hockey is that a defender has to keep his feet moving, and though that might look weird in a baseball game, Reimold might want to consider it, because it couldn't possibly make him look more stupid than he did on this double. This was scored as a double.

(2)

There are actually three mistakes here. Adam Jones obviously fails to pick up the baseball the first time, and then he kicks it like an idiot, but before either of those, Jones played this ball really poorly off the wall. It should've been a double. Because it bounced back over Jones' head, it was a triple. Because Jones subsequently couldn't pick up a ball built specifically to fit easily in a human hand, it was a triple and a one-base error that allowed the batter to score. The batter was Brandon Allen, who is listed as the third-heaviest player on Oakland's entire team..

(3)

• That foul grounder hit Jason Berken in the face in front of everyone
  
  
• This is included as an official MLB.com game highlight
  
  
• The ball wouldn't have hit Berken in the face if he hadn't tried to make a play on it for no reason. When infielders take balls to the face because of funny hops, you just have to shrug it off, because it's part of the job. Getting hit in the face is not part of Jason Berken's job. Certainly not when he's sitting down in the bullpen. Jason Berken was responsible for Jason Berken getting hit in the face.

(4)

You have to watch that whole clip. This was the game's final play. What's funny is that it begins with Oakland's David DeJesus looking stupid. But DeJesus redeems himself, and it's the Orioles who end up looking stupid instead.

And B. Davis? B. Davis is Blake Davis. He entered the game moments earlier to pinch-run for J.J. Hardy. Blake Davis was specifically selected to do one thing, and he made the last out doing it.