Afternoon in the conference room. Those in attendance mill about the room and partake in refreshments.
The Animated GIFs Of July: Act IV Of VII
This month’s animated GIF list focuses solely on baseball, a sport that has rewarded our rapt attention with some of the silliest errors the game has ever seen. Perhaps it was a fluke, or perhaps it’s simply that every baseball player is awful.
MARLON BYRD. Cabrera, right? From Cleveland?
ASDRUBAL CABRERA. Yes! Marlon. Great to meet you.
MARLON BYRD. I have to be honest with you, I had no idea everyone was this sucky and terrible.
ASDRUBAL CABRERA. I know. Everyone’s playing like cat barf. How is it possible that an entire sport features nothing but awful, crappy baseball players?
MARLON BYRD. I don’t know. There isn’t a single good baseball player. Not even one.
ASDRUBAL CABRERA. Has it always been this way, or did this just start this month?
MARLON BYRD. Seems to me like this is new. We hit the dead of summer, and all of a sudden, everyone keeps throwing baseballs into the stands, and tripping and falling, and hitting each other in the nards. It’s puzzling.
ASDRUBAL CABRERA. I wonder... whether anything will come of this meeting. I wonder whether there is any good reason for us to keep playing baseball at all.
MARLON BYRD. I hope so. I don’t think so, but I hope so.
BUD SELIG. Excuse me! Folks, excuse me, if we could please re-convene?
The room settles down as those in attendance take their seats.
BUD SELIG. Thank you. Okay, if we could please turn down the lights? We have something of a slideshow here.
JOE TORRE. Yes. Throughout July of 2011, we experienced a minor epidemic of guys getting hit in their wieners.
JOE MADDON. HAWWWWWW THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME
BUD SELIG. Um... okay, then. Please observe.
(Via @bubbaprog at GIFULMINATION.)
(Via Senor GIF)
JOE MADDON. THESE ARE TAKING TOO LONG TO LOAD
BUD SELIG. Yes, I know. We’re just going to have to be patient.
(Via Baseball Nation’s Grant Brisbee)
BUD SELIG. That’s four different instances -- four! -- of dudes getting whacked in the junk. Two umpires, a catcher, and a television personality.
JOE TORRE. That’s in a single month, folks. Prior to July of 2011, it was extremely rare to see a baseball man double over after a blow to the groin. This month in baseball was, as we have observed in abundance today, rife with schadenfreude. That we have seen such an abnormally high number of dong shots can’t possibly be coincidental.
BUD SELIG. If that is true, then, it’s not simply that we’re all terrible. It’s that we’re so terrible as to be absolutely hilarious.
It’s worth wondering, then, whether our purpose is simply to be laughed at. Does everyone who watches us already know that we’re bad? Are we the last to soak up the punchline to the enormous joke that is us?
JOE MADDON. HEY SHOW THAT SECOND ONE AGAIN
BUD SELIG. All right.
JOE MADDON. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
See also: GIFs of 2010 | GIFs of Winter 2011
GIFs of April 2011 | GIFs of May 2011 | GIFs of June 2011
See More:
