Break Out The Oreos, Baby: The Worst/Best High School Football Moments On YouTube, Part 2

If you’re too far away from a football player to make out his face, there’s something about the construction of a football helmet’s face mask that makes him look like he’s grinning. That’s always how it’s appeared to me, anyway. watch No. 9, the quarterback, at the end of the video, walking past his humiliated coach at half-speed, hating himself. Ouch.

Yeah... but if you watch this as though he has this giant, motionless grin throughout the entire video, it’s really, really funny.

“Great awareness by the Rockets,” says the announcer. If you say so! Check out the umpire just standing there for 12 seconds, just waiting for someone to get the hint.

Serious question: what if a live ball is just left to sit there on the field, and both teams decide, for the sake of science, to simply stand there and gawk at it? That can’t fall under “delay of game,” right? Even if it did, who would you penalize?

If anyone out there can make this happen and provide video documentation, I will give you a dollar.

In my high school days I would see the high schools on television, with actual decent furniture and first-period bells that rang at reasonable hours of the day and the apparent resources for the students to actually do interesting extracurricular things, and I would laugh, because ha ha, nobody’s high school is actually like that.

I grew up, I made friends from other parts of the country, and I found that in fact, many of you went to high schools that had nice things in them, and indeed, my hollow building of half-broken desks and piss-yellow cinder blocks really was just an unusually crappy school.

I bring these up because Butler and Pleasure Ridge Park are (or, at least, were) two high schools of similarly poor quality that belong to the same Louisville public school district.

You probably don’t need to have attended school in a dreary warehouse in order to commiserate with these kids, though. Remember how awful it was when you were ordered exactly what to do and where to be, with the mental faculties of an adult but the personal freedoms of a four-year-old? Wasn’t it awful? Every single kid in a white shirt endured a week of humiliating drudgery just to get to this Friday night. They’ve been through the shit, man. They earned this, man, every bit of it.

Welp, I suppose this could rightly be described as a six-point field goal.

God, this is so funny. I look at the kid clutching his face mask in despair upon realizing what he has done, and I laugh. I don’t think I’m a monster for doing so, because none of this matters, because this kid is going to forget about this real-life Reader’s Digest story in like a week.

Although... it did get shown on the news, and it’s going to be on YouTube forever. Bummer, guy.

I’m just going to get out of the way and let you enjoy this on your own terms, because it’s not just the greatest high school football video on YouTube. It is the best video on YouTube, period, and so it has been for nearly five years.

Break out the Oreos, baby.