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Come Fan with UsSaturday, July 4, 2026

Our long Nationals nightmare is over: Teddy wins

In case you’re not familiar, the Nationals have a sausage race every game, except it’s with presidents instead of sausages. And the gag since the park opened has been that Teddy Roosevelt just couldn’t win a danged race.

You know, Teddy Roosevelt. The guy who charged up San Juan Hill, who hunted down the three bandits who took his riverboat in Missouri, and who was shot in the chest during a speech and finished the rest of the 90-minute speech. Yeah, he was the foam loser they picked.

Except, this time, he came out on top. To celebrate the Nationals making the playoffs, Teddy won:

Glorious. And if you think this isn’t a big deal to Nationals folk:

Congrats, you old bull-moose. Congrats.

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