eBay Item of the Day: Serious Negative Energy

We are all well aware of the incredible magical properties of these wonderful necklaces you see on many big leaguers. They imbue the wearer with special powers that cannot even begin to be described. However, there is a dark side to their use! If one makes the horrible mistake of simultaneously wearing necklaces from rival teams -- such as those of the Red Sox and Yankees -- it creates a negative energy vortex in the neck area of such power that it can possibly cause internal decapitation.

Please be careful.