VIDEO: ‘Capslock Realtalk,’ In Which We Respond To Your Comments

Long ago -- before Twitter, before Facebook was open to people without an .edu email address, even before I was a blogger -- I was an unhappy office drone who commented on blogs. Over the years, I’ve seen every kind of comment the Internet can conjure, from the funny to the long-winded to the dismissive to the hateful and bigoted. Commenting is akin to chess or fencing; there are a finite number of moves, and for every thrust there is a parry, for every parry a feint, for every feint a Simpsons reference. It’s the Matrix: spend enough time here, and the ugliest trolling is merely a green rain of ones and zeroes on a black field.