Sometimes, you can spot a fan in the crowd and instantly know enough about that fan to get a solid grasp of what his or her résumé looks like. This fan, spotted by Kevin Kaduk and captured in GIF form by our own Mr. Brisbee, is one of those folks:
ANIMATED: This Man’s Résumé Must Be Awesome
YO THIS IS MY RESUME
BOBBY “POWERMAN 6000” SCHREMPF
RIGHT NOW I LIVE AT 326 HAMILL STREET BUT THE MAIL AND SHIT GOES TO MY BUDDY SCHMO’S HOUSE TO KEEP THE FUZZ AWAY
I AIN’T HAVE A PHONE AND PLUS MY DOORBELL AIN’T WORK BECAUSE SCHMO DISCONNECTED THE WIRING WHILST TRYING TO LIGHT A JOINT SO JUST THROW A TWIG OR SOMETHING AT MY WINDOW, IT’S THE ONE WITH THE “BABY ON BOARD” STICKER ON IT
KEY SKILLS INCLUDE
- RAGIN' OUT
- KEGGIN'
- KEGGING
- MAKING BONGS OUT OF SHIT I FIND IN THE GARBAGE
WORK HISTORY
DISHWASHER AT CRACKER BARREL
FEBRUARY 2012-MARCH 2012
GOT FIRED BECAUSE THEY SAID I STOLE ONE OF THE WOODEN TOWER OF HANOI GAMES OFF ONE OF THE TABLES, WHICH IS TOTAL BS, I WAS JUST BORROWING IT BECAUSE ME AND SCHMO WERE TRYING TO COUNT HOW MANY BUD ICES WE COULD DRINK AND I PROFFER’D IT AS A ABACUS
JUST KINDA CHILLED OUT
AUGUST 2009-FEBRUARY 2012
SAW THAT “INTO THE WILD” MOVIE AND DECIDED TO LIVE THE LIFE OF JOHN WILD, COULDN’T FIND A WISEN’D OLD MAN TO BEFRIEND THOUGH SO I JUST KINDA JAMMED SOME VEDDER AND GOT HIGH FOR THREE YEARS
JANITOR AT CHUCK-E-CHEESE
AUGUST 2009-AUGUST 2009
LIT A FART, GOT SHITCANNED
EDUCATION/CERTIFICATION
- SAW A WEBSITE WHERE YOU PAY 20 BUCKS AND GET ORDAINED AS A WIZARD SO BLAM I DID IT
- WATCHED THE PLANET EARTH EPISODE LIKE 4000 TIMES WHERE THE JELLYFISH ARE JUST SCREWING AROUND IN THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, WOULD OF WATCH'D THE OTHERS EXCEPT FOR SCHMO THREW THEM AWAY SO HE COULD USE THE BOX TO HIDE HIS SCHWAG
- SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
- READ A PAMPHLET ABOUT LIVIN HEART-SMART
- READ THE WIKIPEDIA ABOUT HISTORY OF CHAIRS
OK THAT WAS MY RESUME PEACE OUT HERBS ~~~~~~420 LiGhT uP 420~~~~~~~
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