Virginia Tech’s New Helmets Are Pretty Fowl

In the land of the confusing college sports team mascots (this is, after all, the land of the Billiken and a tree with lips), the Virginia Tech Hokies are still pretty special. Since “Hokie” is a made-up word that the writer of the school song thought sounded cool, the actual mascot of VT is a turkey. Because they think that’s cool, too. SO COOL, in fact, that the football team will be wearing a real turkey doozy of a helmet in 2012.

The following photo comes to us courtesy of VirginiaTechFan.com. Get ready.

The Hokies will supposedly only wear these helmets in their game against Austin Peay. This is in addition to their camouflage uniforms that they will wear against Bowling Green.

I may have gone with something a little more dignified. Like maybe a picture of the giant turkey leg from Walt Disney World. Now that’s a helmet that could make a difference! Think of all those starving linemen who would be mesmerized by floating turkey legs dancing around the field! They could call it the “starving on a desert island” defense!

I hope that Hokies fans don’t get their feathers ruffled on this one. I’m not trying to say that the school has gone to the birds, or that they’ll gobble up any silly idea they come across. Don’t fly off the handle at me; I’m just winging it here. All I have to go on is that helmet up there.

That helmet isn’t going to make the Hokies the breast team in their conference. It’s not going to turn their starting QB into a regular Joe Thighs-man or anything. It may just end up making them a laughing stock. Other teams might be chortling at the helmets like they’re a slew of Eddie Gizzard jokes.

Or maybe they’ll just look like a bunch of turkeys.