SummerSlam is already off and running on Sunday night. A title has changed hands before the pay-per-view has even begun. On the pre-show, Antonio Cesaro defeated Santino Marella to capture the United States championship.
SummerSlam Results: Antonio Cesaro Defeats Santino Marella To Become New U.S. Champion
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Marella tried to get fired up for the match.
He also tried to invoke the spirit of the 2012 Olympics with a passionate racewalk to the ring.
Unfortunately, both Santino and his glorious mullet came up short. Cesaro even had the audacity to tear up the precious Cobra sock. Marella had a backup sock stored in his butt, but was unable to hit his finisher. Cesaro hit the “Neutralizer” (because he’s Swiss) and picked up the win.
If you understood the above paragraph, it’s time for all of us to reevaluate things.
Make sure to stay tuned to this StoryStream for a full liveblog of Sunday night’s event, including results, GIFs and jokes! Or whatever else we can think of!
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