Daniel Snyder Celebrated The RGIII Trade With A Party In The Bahamas

Oh, but of course he did.

The Redskins play the Rams this weekend, meaning St. Louis gets an up close look at the quarterback they could’ve had this past April. Instead they decided to stick with Sam Bradford and trade the pick to the Redskins for three first-round picks. And that’s when Snyder decided to celebrate, as ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports:

The March night when the Redskins agreed to send three first-round picks and a second-round pick to St. Louis for the right to go up to No. 2 in the draft and select Robert Griffin III, Washington’s brain trust celebrated in a style that was beyond grand. Redskins owner Daniel Snyder boarded his private plane with general manager Bruce Allen and head coach Mike Shanahan, and the men flew to the Bahamas to celebrate their franchise-altering acquisition. The men spent the weekend toasting their trade, playing golf and celebrating a deal that neither Cleveland nor Miami could get done.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR?

Don’t get confused: Dan Snyder has done and said plenty of reprehensible things, and he was probably celebrating a little too early there, but that’s not even the point here.

No, all we learned from that anecdote is that it would be really, really awesome to be a billionaire. Think about how YOU celebrate a successful day at work. Is it with a spontaneous trip to the Bahamas on your private jet for a weekend of drinking and golf and beaches? No?

Well ... This sucks. We should all be billionaires.

That’s the official response here. We should all be billionaires, and it sucks that we’re not, because private jets and Bahamas party weekends sound pretty great. So hopefully we’re all billionaires soon, and we can all stop complaining and get back to making fun of Dan Snyder for celebrating a trade like he just won a goddamn Super Bowl. OFFSEASON CHAMPS, always and forever.