Not The Dark Knight Rises remake you want, but the one you need
Oh, no big deal, just The Dark Knight Rises rewritten with Bane played by Nick Saban and Batman as portrayed by Urban Meyer.
I don’t even know what demented person sits alone in the dark of night rewriting The Dark Knight Rises as an Urban Meyer redemption story starring Nick Saban. I am sure of this: they’re probably looking in your windows at night and writing “S-E-C” in the dirt on the back of your car when you’re not looking. Stay for the Petrino stinger at the end!
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