On Friday, the Florida Atlantic Owls hosted the Wagner Seahawks in their season opener. Before FAU hit the field, the live crowd was treated to an epic into video that was lovingly filmed, masterfully scored, finely acted and displaying a tenuous-at-best grasp on wildlife and general evolution.
Florida Atlantic University Doesn’t Know Where Owls Come From
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
Here is the video that the Owls showed on Friday night:
Okay let’s start at the beginning. Owls don’t live in the water and they never have. You’d think a college would know that, even if it is a Florida college. If you’re ever at the beach and a bunch of owls start rising up out of the surf, you are having a psychotic break.
Secondly, having your practices on the beach in full pads like right on the waterline seems like a dangerous proposition. Haven’t you seen those big signs at the beach that say “WATCH OUT FOR UNDERTOW AND ALSO DON’T WEAR PADS AND A HELMET IN THE OCEAN”? Those aren’t just there for poops and hee-haws, everybody.
This video would have made a lot more sense if it was for the Wagner SEAHAWKS, which are HAWKS OF THE SEA. Maybe this is just the first step in renaming the team? The FAU SurfOwls. The WaterHoots. The Owlphibians.
Either way, the Owls won their opener, 7-3, so I guess they have the last laugh. Lotta bragging rights in those seven points!
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