How can the Lakers turn it around? With the help of the clown prince of basketball Dwight Howard, that's how.
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
-Request a trade
- Two words: Whoopee Cushions
- Paintball! (Two killed, seven wounded)
- Replace catering with dog-poop sandwiches
- Double down on Steve Blake swirlies
- Insinuate a trade would be beneficial
- Team games of Cards Against Humanity! (Pau ends up crying)
- At practice, put on a wig and yell “I’M LENNAY KEKUA!” Say it again when no one laughs the first time
- Assign a “fart jar” where someone has to put in a quarter for not farting
- Demand a trade
- Does Carlton dance for 10 minutes waiting for someone to laugh
- Team stereo is all-Drake, all the time
- Pringles during pregame meals, because Coach D’Antoni looks like the guy on the can
- Gets everyone to wear cool hipster glasses why won’t you put on your hipster glasses Kobe stop scowling at me
- Threaten to get coach fired unless there’s a trade
- Calls him “Coach a-Pepperoni!”
- Says "Queensbridge" to Metta World Peace every morning
- Does Gangnam Style after missed free throws
- Organizes group outing to Pro Bowl
- Pours M&Ms on his face and says, "Hey it's me, Lamar Odom! I'm back!"
- Wears a Borat mankini and yells “King of the Castle, King of the Castle”
- Answers the phone with “wazzzzzzzzzzup”
- Hands out Tosh.0 Season 1 DVDs
- UGGs
(Today’s List was written in conjunction with Spencer Hall and Robert B. Wheel)
