(Today’s List was written by Bill Hanstock, Martin Rickman, Robert Wheel and Spencer Hall.)
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
Seems like everyone is talking about trades. But they’re not talking about IMPORTANT, life-changing trades. We’re here to fix that:
- This bologna sandwich for a PB&J
- 2 Broke Girls for reruns of Taxi
- Living in Cleveland for living in Sochi
- A complete collection of Zoobooks for a complete collection of Desert Storm Trading cards (disclaimer: the Stormin’ Norman one has a bent corner)
- Frank Caliendo for a hammer to smash my own face in
- A Razor scooter for an original Razr phone to be named later
- Darren Rovell actual tweets for Peter Gammons pocket tweets
- Craigslist special: big screen tv (very heavy, no remote) for refrigerator (not working)
- Tickets to the touring production of “Jeckyll & Hyde” for literally anything else. Seriously, make an offer.
- One gently used Batman Forever OST (no case) for Luke Walton
- 1991 Ford Escort, Blue, 250,315 miles, A/C, manual windows, hatchback, new tires 4 Zagat Dining Guide 2003
- Six horses for baby tiger no questions asked not a cop
- 4,000 Shamwows for a ride to the airport (do not require pick-up)
- Rick Derringer for Rick Springfield
- 2004 for 1992, straight up
- Father’s Day tie for 15 minutes of silence
- “Roaring Fire” DVD for a fire you tried to build yourself in the backyard
- Bowling for soup
- Irrational Twinkies love for actual Ding-Dongs deliciousness
- Bobby Bonilla for $1 million dollars* (*per year until the end of time)
- These 100 dollars now for 300 later <---I AM YOUR MORTGAGE
- Clos Du Bois for Blanche DuBois for Bell Biv Devoe (3 way deal)
- Dwight Howard for a sack of ferrets
- “The Gift of the Magi” for a poignant lesson about selflessness
- Thailand for Canada. Straight up.
- John Cena for the Macho Man
- Pink Floyd for Foreigner
- Park Place and Marvin Gardens for that pistol you’re holding to my chest
