This Week In GIFs: Embarrassment is exercise

Hello, friends, and welcome to Week 52 of THIS WEEK IN GIFs! Between golf, the All-Star Break, and a series of Instagrams of your nephew playing wiffle ball, this has been a breathtaking week in the world of sports. Let’s get to it. Voting will remain open until Sunday at 11 p.m. Eastern. Enjoy!

”Yes, hi, Rest Of Name Delivery Depot? This is Charl Schwartzel. I think you need to just let me speak to a supervisor right away. I have a history with you guys. Yes, thank you.

”Hi, did they give you my information? Yep. C-H-A-R-L. I’ve been waiting to have your order delivered for about ... 28 years now, it looks like. Do you see it on your screen? Yep, an E and an S. No, lowercase. Yes.

”Oh. Free letters? That’s a very nice gesture, I appreciate you trying to make things right. Umm ... yeah, I’d like “Dr. Competent” added to my name. Rhymes with, ‘schmompetent.’ Yes.

”Sure, give me express shipping on that. I am in the middle of a field. Please mail it to the middle of a field.

”I don’t see why you can’t just mail it to the middle of a field.

“OK, this right here is perfectly representative of your shortcomings throughout this entire experience. You know what? Fine. Go to Hell. I’m done doing business with you people. GO TO HELL.”

”Yes, hi, Exactly One Golf Club Mart? I need a replacement. I would like to reserve exactly one golf club. Oh, I don’t know. Whichever one you would use to hit a golf ball in the middle of a bunch of hay.

”Certainly. My name is Charl Schwartzel. No, not Charles. Charl.

”No, like, just five letters. C-H-A-R-L. What? No, I’m fine, that’s just my name ... I appreciate your concern, but I really am fine. My name is Charl, that’s all. I -- what?

“Oh, goodness no. There hasn’t been an accident, my name is just short, that’s all. Really, there’s no need for an ambulance.”

“OK, thank you, but I don’t know how ‘stop, drop and roll’ would fix anything ... OK, fine. Fine.”

[rolls around in field]

[bird poops on head]

“A bird has just pooped on my head!”

If you really really really need context for this GIF, I guess you can check this out, but it’s only going to disappoint you. I recommend you just sit back and enjoy this.

Is Norv Turner inside of a storage depot? Jesus, is that where he lives? Does he just sleep in a storage unit? I guess none of this should surprise me, but damn, dude.

u short

After I was finished being creeped out, I finally realized that the Yankees logo is a captcha. No idea why it took me so long.

If you showed this to a ballplayer from the 1920s, I wonder what he would find more troublesome: the female pitcher, or the dead guy in the outfield. Probably the former, because the noose of gender essentialism has been hanging us slowly since time immemorial, and because I’m pretty sure dead guys were commonplace a hundred years ago. I know that firsthand, because one of my favorite hobbies is looking at century-old photos and going like “pffffft ahahaha all y’all dead as Hell.”

I don’t know what that little chair-shift is at the end, but I do know it’s exactly what I would do. Maybe it’s just an involuntarily response to awkwardness we all share. “Heh. Yeah, nothing, just ... need to move a part of my butt for a second.”

Mr. Spieth here is 19. By the time you hit 30, the awkward-gap gets a lot smaller, in part because you’re better in social situations and in part because you just don’t give enough of a shit to feel awkward. It’s great.

Adrian Beltre’s perpetually cranky/irritated disposition has been well-documented. Ah ha ha ha Adrian Beltre thinks that whether he catches an infield pop-up in a fifth inning in July actually matters. It’s adorable.

VOTE!