Oh, great. It’s the holidays again. You’ve stuffed yourself with stuffing and now your sweatpants don’t fit anymore. Well, we’ve got the solution: get fit WHILE you watch football. With the ultra-predictable Monday Night Football broadcast, it should be a breeze!
Monday Night Fitness is the Dolphins-Jets drinking game for your body
It’s that time again! We’ll whip you into shape WHILE you watch football.
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Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
It’s real simple. Think of it like a drinking game, but with more sweating (or less, depending on your drinking regimen). Something on the list happens, you do the appropriate exercise. Got it? Get to it.
Here are your Monday Night Fitness assignments for Dolphins at Jets on Monday night:
| EVERY TIME: | DO THIS: |
| Announcers mention how cold it is | 20 crunches |
| ESPN shows the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Plaza | 5 minute plank |
| Announcers mention Michael Vick's time in prison | Run a marathon |
| An NFL owner is terrible at high-fives | 20 lunges |
| ESPN shows a graphic of the temperature | 20 squats |
| "City so nice they named it twice" reference | 25 squats |
| You hear "I WAS BOOORN FREEEE" | 20 crunches |
| "New York, New York" plays as bumper music | 20 jumping jacks |
| Stock footage of the New York skyline | 10 pushups |
| Rex Ryan is fired *during* the game. | 2 laps around your block |
| ESPN shows any footage of stadium food | 15 pushups |
| ESPN cuts to a cute kid in the crowd | 10 second plank |
| Camera cuts to any fan wearing a jet on their head | 15 squats |
| That stupid "fans singing" NFL app commercial comes on | 20 lunges |
| Cameras find a fan with a sign using the letters "ESPN" in a clever way | 20 bicep curls with a canned good |
| Announcers mention the game is actually being played in New Jersey | 15 second side plank |
| B-roll of One World Trade Center | 10 handstand pushups |
| Any Christmas music used to go into/come back from commercial | 20 burpees |
| ESPN cuts to cheerleaders forcing smiles | 20 crunches |
| Jon Gruden dresses as Santa Claus | Finish watching on a treadmill |
We believe in you. Feel the burn.
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