NFL schedule and results: Complete coverage of Week 16

Coach Jay Gruden said the coaching staff specifically asked Griffin to wear the wristband, which featured a flip-top, to help speed up the play-calling process. Griffin said it was the first time he used a device like that since high school.

He admitted that the wristband helped increase the tempo of the offense and he had no issues with the attachment, though he used it sparingly against the Eagles:

CINCINNATI - It was time to respond. The Bengals knew it.

They were becoming known as a team that played small in big moments. And one of buckling knees at even the sight of Peyton Manning. He was 8-0 against them.

Monday Night Football started with a pick-six, now it might end with one. Peyton Manning is collapsing in Cincinnati, where he’s thrown three interceptions and has looked out of sync with his offense all night.

Who needs two hands, right Emmanuel Sanders? This was a huge catch. It’s helping to keep the Broncos in the game, and, more importantly, we learned you can fend off a defensive back with one hand and have no problems.

What, you mean throwing high and wide to A.J. Green is a bad idea? Not only did Andy Dalton just gift six points to the Broncos, but Green took a hit on the play and is being looked at by the training staff.

Welp.

Massive AFC postseason implications hang over Cincinnati on Monday night. The Bengals, whose path is still wildly uncertain with two games remaining, have the most on the line -- in two weeks, they could either be sitting at home because they have a first-round bye or sitting at home because they missed the playoffs. The Broncos have already clinched their spot in the playoffs, but are still trying to lock down a first-round bye and maybe even steal the No. 1 seed.

Let’s take a look at the scenarios:

We’re required to remind you that these strong takes are SATIRE. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.

Wellcome to the Monday Morning BM,, just a word of warning your probably not prepared to handle the strong football takes and barrelfire NFL truths that you never knew your Mondays were missing. This column is written for and by a REAL fan of the NFL. Its designed to be read on your Monday Morning commode break after a long Sunday eating bad-for-you food and drinking beers. If you care more about SPELLING then you do about TELLING theres the door because this columns not for you.

Mark Barron must lie on his back on the field, and hold a microwave burrito in his hands until it warms to a semi-edible consistency. Then, he’s got to eat it in front of everyone while saying “You know, it’s not that bad, really.”

Mark Barron should keep running the wrong direction and throw his helmet through the nearest wormhole he can find and see if it comes back from that parallel universe as a trucker hat that didn’t just have its soul destroyed on a football field.

Lynch is expected to hit a hole between the left guard and left tackle, ushered through by a pulling right guard. If the block is right and the hole is there, the play is typically good for 10 yards and a first down.

The play itself is simple and relatively standard at all levels of football. Every playbook likely has some variation of it, and while the terminology may differ it’s simply Power. It’s a play that is exactly what the name says it is: No trickery or disguising things; just power and execution. The defense knows where the play is going. The offense is daring the defense to stop it.

★★★

Secondly, how long are we going to allow Lockette on the football field when he has an obvious disregard for human life? From this run alone, I can only assume that these Cardinals’ defenders came over Lockette’s house and refused to take their shoes off so now he’s just out for blood. Like, why does he hate No. 26 so much? As soon as the play starts, he runs right over to him to let him know that he’s a marked man. Then he chases him down like a horror movie villain before throwing him down like Bane did after breaking Batman’s back -- THEN he destroys the fictional No. 21.

I used to watch a lot of nature shows that dealt with the various ways predators killed their prey. In one of them, a small jaguar was swimming across a lake when a crocodile surfaced from behind him. The crocodile moved quietly behind the unaware jaguar before snapping its jaws at him. The jaguar escaped. A few minutes later that same crocodile was resting by the shore when a huge jaguar swam across the lake and pounced on him. The crocodile tried to get back to the water but the jaguar was too quick and destroyed the crocodile. That huge jaguar is Lockette. No. 26 is the crocodile.

The run, which saw Lynch stutter-step through a hole, reverse his field, brush off a pair of defenders like a windshield wiper scraping off raindrops, tip toe the sideline and beeline for the end zone, was similar in its jaw-dropping, awe-inducing power to the legendary run in the 2011 playoffs against the New Orleans Saints. There’s been no word whether the crowd’s reaction registered on the seismograph like the first one, but it will certainly send reverberations through NFL history.

Another similarity between the first and second editions of Beastquake was the flying crotch grab into the end zone, something Lynch’s teammates and coaches found endlessly amusing.

McClain made sure reporters heard what he thought about the Rams as he ran off the field at the Edward Jones Dome before telling reporters in the locker room that he’s “not interested in dirty stuff and chippy play.”

Neither Ogletree nor Beckham, the two at the center of the initiation of the brawl, were ejected, but both the Giants’ and Rams’ head coaches seemed to suggest Beckham played a small part in the instigation of the Rams’ defense.

Thanks to gfycat and Reddit, we can now watch BOTH of Marshawn Lynch’s runs of the year in one convenient GIF. Down below, his tremendous run against the Cardinals from Sunday night. Up top, the original, legendary run against the Saints in the 2011 NFC Wild Card Game

And here’s one that’s flipped, so that both Marshawns are running in the same direction!

Now you may be thinking “yeah, but he’s a punter, that’s not that intimidating.” Well, Ryan also has backup:

Steven Hauschka is the best kicker ever and can do no wrong.

Some writers got all hot and bothered when Marshawn Lynch answered his interview questions with one word a few weeks ago, so they should be happy to get three, right? “Thanks for asking” is Marshawn’s new catchphrase, and it’s a good one. Polite, and to the point.

Here is the full transcript from Lynch’s session with the media:

Green Bay’s performances on the road the last two games make things interesting as the playoffs approach. With the Packers’ loss at Buffalo last week, they no longer have the inside track for home-field advantage throughout the postseason, so while Rodgers and the Pack have been almost unbeatable at home, they may have to go on the road in order to win the NFC, a much tougher proposition.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though, and with the Lions and Packers both grabbing wins this week, it sets up a big-time matchup next Sunday for all the NFC North marbles. Two 11-4 teams will meet at Lambeau Field to decide the division champion, and while the Lions haven’t won there since 1991, their top defense gives them a good shot to break that streak.

What kind of car are they going to take? Hopefully a tricked out Volkswagen van.

With just a Monday Night Football matchup between Cincinnati and Denver remaining, the playoff picture looks a little clearer after Week 16. But there’s still a lot to play for, especially in the AFC and NFC North divisions.

Here’s a look at the most current conference standings and playoff matchups if the season ended today.

See, Marshawn Lynch WILL give proper interviews -- but only if he’s the one asking the questions and everything is on his terms.

We’ll allow it.

So much football, so many playoff implications.

Nearly every game on Sunday will affect the postseason, but perhaps the most significant was the Sunday night showdown between the Cardinals and Seahawks. A Seattle victory kept the door open for Seattle to get the top seed in the NFC for the playoffs.

Which caused the Internet to lose its collective mind. Here are some highlights:

Others decided the run was a good time to take shots at Lynch for and his interview habits.

It’s spreading, good God it’s spreading. Moments after Marshawn Lynch beasted his way for the best run of the season, Russell Wilson decided it was his turn and schooled the Cardinals with a run of his own.

There are no words left.

How did he stay in bounds?

How did the entire defense bounce off him?

What do you think Doug Baldwin said when he blew past Antonio Cromartie and made him fall on his butt? A simple “See ya!” or something more involved?