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Come Fan with UsTuesday, June 23, 2026

NL East starting lineups and rotations, as described by Google autocomplete

The last installment of a six-part series. It turns out that Google autocomplete was dead the whole time.

Here are the projected rotations and starting nine for every NL East team, as described by Google’s autocomplete. If you missed the first five entries in the series, you can find them all in this handy StoryStream™.

Reminders:

  • These are from the drop-down menu in Firefox’s browser search. I entered a player’s name, followed by one letter from A to Z, and the result included here appeared on the drop-down menu. These are not the first results. Otherwise they would all be “stats”, “girlfriend”, or “shirtless.” And every other player had “cheating” as one of the results. Probably curious wives who just read Ball Four.These are the most interesting or amusing results. In some cases, interesting or amusing could not be found. Google has all of our brains mapped and on file somewhere, so these are probably tailored specifically to me. I cleared my cookies first, but you never know.A lot of these results have nothing to do with the actual baseball players, but the string of words together is amusing.

To the charts!

Atlanta Braves

Star-divide

Miami Marlins

Star-divide

Philadelphia Phillies


Star-divide


New York Mets

Star-divide

Washington Nationals

Star-divide

Worth googling: There aren’t a lot of surprises, so let’s try something different. If you didn’t get the reference for any of these, google it immediately:

Not worth googling: Most of them, sure, but I still don't get the Andrelton Simmons/PETA one. There's no connection at all.

My favorite result of the series: Doug Fister ambidextrous. Only because I'm seven years old.

Hope you enjoyed the series. It was described by a Facebook commenter as “the dumbest post (SB Nation) has ever done.” Pretty proud of that. There’s something to shoot for now, too.

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