Here are the projected rotations and starting nine for every NL Central team, as described by Google’s autocomplete. If you missed the first four entries in the series, you can find them all in this handy StoryStream™.
NL Central starting lineups and rotations, as described by Google autocomplete
In part five of the six-part series, we explore which sensical and nonsensical things come up in Google’s autocomplete for every starter in the NL Central.
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Reminders:
- These are from the drop-down menu in Firefox’s browser search. I entered a player’s name, followed by one letter from A to Z, and the result included here appeared on the drop-down menu. These are not the first results. Otherwise they would all be “stats”, “girlfriend”, or “shirtless.” Or “steroids.” Grow up, people. These are the most interesting or amusing results. In some cases, interesting or amusing could not be found.
- Google has all of our brains mapped and on file somewhere, so these are probably tailored specifically to me. I cleared my cookies first, but you never know.A lot of these results have nothing to do with the actual baseball players, but the string of words together is amusing. Sometimes, though a string of nonsense words like “Nate Schierholtz dad skateboarding” turns out to be magic.
To the charts!

I hope you never have to make a choice as tough as “Matt Holliday moth in ear” and “Matt Holliday hit in balls.” It almost tore my family apart.
Worth googling: Aramis Ramirez gets goosed, Jay Bruce appears to levitate, and Mat Latos Karate Kid. The exclamation point after the Latos result is to note my pleasant surprise, because that result is based off an image I made. Proud.
Not worth googling: Joey Votto never hit foul ball. I have some bad news for you. According to my research ...
This is Nate Schierholtz’s dad:























