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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Google confirms Michigan’s sadness and Georgia’s passion

A few notes on this analysis of Google Trends:

Google-search-map2_medium

1. This is a deeply unflattering infographic about America. By rule, it must be shared with everyone on the Internet.

2. Georgia, where I live, is obsessed with cooking crack, butt implants, Spanx, and divorce. Speaking as a resident: this is so accurate it makes my teeth hurt.

3. Michigan’s fondness for “Knock-Knock Jokes / Little Caesars / Omelette / Taco Bell / Topless Bar / Where do babies come from?” is one of the most heartbreaking collection of words I have ever read and that includes the last five pages of The Brothers Karamazov.

4. The best party goes to New Mexico: “Frito Pie / Juggalos / Peyote / U.F.O.”

5. You might criticize Alabama for caring too much about football, but: “ALABAMA: FOX News / God / Impeach Obama / Jesus / Jessica Simpson / Obama Is The Antichrist / Polka / Satan.” Let them have football. THEY NEED IT. REAL BAD.

6. I can’t talk about Arkansas’ without crying.

7. No jokes told about you, Vermont, you’re Annie Lennox devotees 22 years after the release of Diva and there’s a lot of respect for that here.

8. Go to bed, Oregon. Go to bed right now.

9. Going to pretend Lousiana isn’t searching for LSU’s dance team, and is instead as a community devoted more than any other state to honoring the greatest sitcom of all time.

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