On the one hand, we love the Westminster Dog Show, because we love dogs and we like watching dogs from every breed come on stage and be happy, good dogs. It’s a smorgasbord of cuteness, each funny silly style of dog coming out one-by-one.
Proposing a better way to judge Westminster Dog Show
Who’s a good dog? Who’s a good dog? (Answer: All the dogs are.)
On the other hand, we kind of don’t like the Westminster Dog Show, because it celebrates the highly selective breeding of dogs by awarding the dogs that fit closest to the very specific definitions for how each dog breed should look. Not only does this imply that dogs like my 1.5-year-old beagle-looking thing with legs longer than beagle legs and a tail longer than a beagle tail aren’t good enough, it also perpetuates dog breeding practices that lead to more dogs being born every year than humans are ready and willing to care of. And when more dogs are born than we can take care of, a lot of them die in shelters. And that’s bad!
So we’d like to propose an alternate method of judging dog shows. Here it is:
All these dogs are definitely good dogs, so instead of naming one a winner, we’re going to tell each one that it’s a good dog and give it a nice head tousle and a treat and maybe rub its belly or throw it a toy. In addition, dogs displaying extraordinary exuberance/silliness/playfulness may be referred to as “very good dogs.”
Photo credit: Andrew Burton/Getty Images
We don’t believe in participation trophies in human sports. If you’re not good at sports, you’re not good at sports. But all these dogs are really good at being dogs, and that’s what we’re awarding. If somebody brings a cat, we will *not* tell it that it is a good dog.
Photo credit: John Moore/Getty Images
You might be mad that there isn’t a winner. It’s fun to root for your favorite breeds, and it’s fun to see a dog get a trophy and a ribbon and eat at Sardi’s and go on various talk shows.
But if we put a bunch of dogs on TV and watch them be dogs ... aren’t we all winners?
Photo credit: Michael Nagle/Getty Images
SB Nation Video Archives: Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Petting Challenge (2012)
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