The greatest animal actors of all time

At their adorable-est, animals convey a wide variety of emotions without words. Talented and adorable animal actors convey a wide variety of emotions without words, on command, when the bright lights are on. They’re the clutchest of all animals and as such deserve a metric bearing witness to having outperformed, relative to their field, for the amusement of all.

Almost without exception, animal actors are all worth reading about. Notable animal actors who didn’t make the cut include Crystal the Monkey, who has played both a doctor AND a drug dealer, and Rex the Wonder Horse, who once chased filmmakers under a car and tried to eat them. We encourage you to dig deep and learn about those stars on your own time. This list is for winners.

We ranked these animal actors not just according to their acting ability (range and believability), but for the overall impressiveness of their resumes, taking into account their impact on pop culture and society at large. A sports comparison has been included for each animal actor, in lieu of an actual award or treat.

The Orca in Free Willy deserves a nod for starring in a movie about a mistreated whale that actually moved people to try and make the actual whale’s life better. Funds were raised to move Keiko to a much better facility and attempts were made for years to release him back to the wild, although sadly he had been too affected by dumb humans to ever fully re-integrate in the ocean. He had one huge hit and a slow, sad decline.

Athlete comp: Christian Laettner

Over 100 dogs auditioned for the role of Wishbone. Only Soccer was good enough to BECOME Wishbone. Only true 90s kids will appreciate this honorable mention.

Athlete comp: Vince Papale

The Thin Man movies are spectacular crime romps about an unrepentant lush and his sugar momma/partner-in-crime, but Skippy’s turn as Asta (he would later just be renamed Asta) is what really brings the whole thing together.

He was considered one of the smartest animal actors of his age. That clip up there? Entirely improvised. They just yelled LET IT ROLL and Skippy did his thing.

Athlete comp: He’s the Jorge Posada: the glue that holds the winning team together.

I don’t know if you get the joke, but Spuds MacKenzie is a party animal. Because he is literally an animal who likes to party. Only misses the list because he is less “actor” than “corporate shill and fabrication,” but the implication of his persona is “dog who drank a buttload of beer, banged tons of bikini-clad women, then died.” So we have to at least mention him, because Spuds was actually a mild-mannered lady dog from the Midwest named Honey Tree Evil Eye. Talk about range.

Athlete comp: Gronk

And now, the greatest animal actors of all time:

Bamboo Harvester’s bona fides: portrayed Mister Ed, was named “Bamboo Harvester.”

Athlete comp: Heinie Manush: he would have made the hall of fame based on his name alone.

Hercules became an international star after escaping captivity while filming a Kleenex commercial. He was at-large for 24 days before being recaptured. He had grown so accustomed to eating cooked food that while he was free, he declined to feed on natural game. He went on to book roles in films like Octopussy, retired after slipping a disc at age 22 and died at age 25. What a life.

Athlete comp: He’s like that former Dolphins player who fell off a boat, but an awesome acting bear instead.

Hey, sometimes sports analogies are hard!

After training as an actor for only six months, Moose won the role of Frasier and received more fan mail than any human actor on the show. He was on the show for seven seasons before turning the role over to his son, then spent the last six-plus years of his life in retirement. That’s seriously #blessed.

Athlete comp: The Tony Gwynn of animal actors: a first-ballot hall of famer with a solid legacy.

Buddy was both Comet on Full House AND the original Air Bud. A short, brilliant career in two mediums. Also, look at that clip. That dog straight-up played basketball. Probably could have gone pro.

Athlete comp: Basically the Bo Jackson of dogs.

Arguably one of the most famous horses of all time, Roy Rogers’ faithful mount Trigger easily makes the list, but earns bonus awesome points because he and Dale Evans’ mount Buttercup had their hides stretched over foam replicas and displayed in museums after their deaths. The same cannot be said of Rogers and Evans.

Athlete comp: Ted Williams

The American Human Association used to have an annual “PATSY Award,” which was considered the Oscar for animal actors. Orangey, best known as the cat from Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Rhubarb, is the only feline to have won the PATSY twice.

Athlete comp: Orangey was basically the Gretzky of cats.

Tai is not only one of the most well-known elephant actors of all time, having acted in films since 1994 and played the title situation in Operation Dumbo Drop, he’s also the only animal actor on this list to be a work of art. He was featured in a Banksy installation in Exit Through the Gift Shop.

Athlete comp: Blake Griffin in ESPN The Mag’s Body Issue. Now THAT’S a work of art.

Koton only played the dog in the James Belushi film K-9 and associated, short-lived television adaptation, but in real life, he was an actual police dog, responsible for over 24 felony arrests. He was KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY. Koton is possibly our greatest national hero, if we’re being honest.

Athlete comp: KOTON STANDS ALONE.

Over the course of nearly 20 years, Jimmy the Raven appeared in over 1,000 feature films, including every Frank Capra film from 1938 on. Possibly the most impressive bird of all time.

Note to self: write incredible, horrifying sequel to The Island of Dr. Moreau.

Athlete comp: Cal Ripken and Pete Rose wrapped together and covered in feathers.

The case could be made for Rin Tin Tin being the most famous and most influential animal actor of all time. A survivor of World War I, Rin Tin Tin moved from Germany to the United States and became such a big film star, that he may have actually won the Academy Award for Best Actor in 1929. He likely received the most first-place votes for the award before some stuffy idiots on the Academy decided the award should go to a human. I think we can all agree the award has been tainted ever since.

Athlete comp: The Jim Thorpe of animal actors.

SB Nation presents: The best dogs in sports