WWE Payback takes place on Sunday, with not a ton of buildup beyond the top two matches. What’s more, this pay-per-view event is suddenly one of THREE major WWE events in the next two weeks, along with this coming week’s NXT Takeover: Unstoppable and the hastily announced Elimination Chamber on May 31.
WWE Payback 2015: The full rundown and why you should care
Will John Cena say “I quit?” Will Seth Rollins lose his world title? Well ... no, but let’s talk about it anyway.
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
Despite all that, Payback should still be pretty good, if for the three title matches alone. Of course, I’m an optimist. All wrestling fans are relentless optimists, right?
WWE Payback Review
Let’s dissect the announced card and find out why we should care about Payback!
Curtis Axel & Damien “Macho Mandow” Sandow vs. The Ascension
What am I looking at here? Okay, this one requires a little explanation. Curtis Axel -- the literal, real-life son of Mr. Perfect -- is doing a Hulk Hogan gimmick. Kind of. He’s wearing a shirt that says “AXELMANIA” and doing a leg drop, at any rate. Damien Sandow is doing a Macho Man impression. It’s cute, in a way. The other team is the Ascension, a modern-day version of the Road Warriors. So don’t adjust your set: it isn’t somehow 1989.
Why you should care: This should be a fascinating look at what they might possibly have planned for all four of these guys. If the Ascension loses quickly, they may not be long for this world. Could Axel and Mandow be a regular team going forward? You may as well put both under-appreciated comedy guys together for now, I suppose.
By the way, Curtis Axel and Mandow are now calling themselves “The Meta Powers.” That’s ... pretty incredible, honestly.
King Barrett vs. Neville
What am I looking at here? King Barrett used to be Bad News Barrett, until he won the King of the Ring a couple of weeks ago. Now he’s a king. It’s simple math. Neville is “The Man Gravity Forgot.” He’s called that because he does ridiculous flips and can jump really high.
Why you should care: This is going to be a really, really good match. These two Englishmen have faced off before, with terrific results. Neville has been tearing it up since he made the move from NXT to the main roster and this should continue his trend of looking great and being treated like a major up-and-comer.
Naomi & Tamina Snuka vs. Nikki & Brie Bella
What am I looking at here? Naomi is definitely the most-improved Diva on the roster over the past year. She’s discovered a new mean streak and is now aligned with just-returned bruiser Tamina. Nikki and Brie are twins!
Why you should care: This is the only match that, on paper, threatens to be a clunker, but Nikki and Naomi are capable enough to keep things on track. This could also be a potential diamond in the rough. You can always hope for that
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
What am I looking at here? Dolph Ziggler is a flashy, confident young man who has suddenly started dressing like he’s in Steel Panther. Sheamus is a pale Irish warrior who has recently started wearing his beard like Zoidberg. They’re both talented wrestlers, but they’re currently feuding over each other’s butts and who is supposed to kiss whose. I’m not making that up. This is a bottom-based feud.
Why you should care: Again, this is going to be a really good match. Just try to ignore that they’re really invested in literal butt-kissing and you should be great.
Bray Wyatt vs. Ryback
What am I looking at here? Ah, the animal kingdom’s two greatest natural enemies: a Bayou cult preacher and a hungry guy. I’m not really clear on why they’re feuding, but it probably has to do with the same reason Bray Wyatt feuds with everyone else, which is ...
...
Hang on, it’ll come to me.
Why you should care: Luke Harper and Erick Rowan have started teaming together again suddenly, so it’s possible the entire Wyatt family may be re-forming, which is good news for people who like six-men tag matches and unstoppable monster factions. (Just ignore that the Wyatt Family has shown itself to be a supremely stoppable faction.) This one may end with a big Wyatt Family beatdown of Ryback. I can dream, anyway.
WWE Tag Team Championship 2-Out-Of-3 Falls Match: The New Day (c) vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro
What am I looking at here? The new tag team champs The New Day are a group of individuals who are trying to be positive, but the crowd hates their positivity. As such, they’ve slowly been realizing they can cheat to win. Their glee at each new underhanded discovery has been thrilling to watch. The New Day also consists of three members, although any two of them can defend the title under the Freebird Rule. I’m anticipating they’ll change up the team with each fall, utilizing all three combinations in the match. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro love cats and headphones. They’re also wonderful, but in a simpler way.
Why you should care: This could be the best match on a card that looks good on paper. The New Day is suddenly a revelation and one of the most entertaining groups of people on the entire roster. Going up against two of the best wrestlers in the entire world seems like a good recipe for success.
United States Championship I Quit Match: John Cena (c) vs. Rusev
What am I looking at here? John Cena loves AMERICA and Rusev loves NOT AMERICA and each man is determined to make the other say the words “I Quit” so that they can just stop this and go wrestle other people. Rusev will be accompanied to the ring by Lana, who is having a crisis of conscience.
Why you should care: This is going to be the final chapter in the Cena vs. Rusev saga, which has mostly been good and has led to the Cena U.S. Open Challenge, where he goes out and tears it up in awesome 20-minute matches with lesser-known Superstars every week on RAW. Sadly, this match will probably also feature Lana breaking free from Rusev. She’ll probably drop the accent soon and it will be the most tragic thing that has ever happened.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose
What am I looking at here? THE SHIELD EXPLODES and also Randy Orton is there. This is the first time all three former members of The Shield have been together in a high-profile match and certainly the first time they’ve all been in a world title match. Orton is a bit of an odd man out here (even though he has the strongest claim to be No. 1 contender), but his inclusion should only add to the story of the match, not detract from it.
Why you should care: Ambrose has undergone a much-needed character rehabilitation since WrestleMania and he should bring a lot of intensity to this match. It’s also going to be amazing to see The Shield finally go at it, fourth participant in this match be damned. This match should be electric and has the potential to really be something special. We’ll see if it manages to deliver on that promise.
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