Many people have speculated about the state of the relationship between NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and Patriots owner Robert Kraft. They’re noted friends with a long history, but that relationship has fallen on hard times thanks to the DeflateGate ruling. Some went so far as to say their relationship is “pretty much dead.”
Everything you need to know about Roger Goodell and Robert Kraft’s hug
The NFL commissioner and Patriots owner held each other. Was it tender? And if so, what would that mean?
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But we hadn’t heard anything concrete about their relationship until this:
Roger Goodell and Patriots owner Robert Kraft already have met, spoke and even hugged, per an industry source who witnessed it.
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) May 19, 2015 This means something. But what? What could these two NFL titans hugging, signify for the Patriots' hopes of having the ruling reduced?
We’ve analyzed everything you need to know about this embrace.
What is a hug?
According to Wikipedia:
A hug is an international form of physical intimacy in which two people put their arms around the neck, back, or waist of one another and hold each other closely.
Wait, is this a sex thing?
We’ll get to this later.
What did this look like?
There’s no picture of their hug, but we do have this picture from 2006:
That’s just creepy as hell.
Why would Roger Goodell and Robert Kraft hug?
After the awkwardness of the last two weeks, the two had a face-to-face encounter. The nonverbal communication of a hug was presumably easier for these more-or-less humans than using words to express their complicated emotions.
But what nonverbal emotions were they trying to communicate?
There are obviously millions of subtle options, but I think we can narrow it down into three main categories.
1. Sympathy/emotional warmth. The two longtime friends were communicating that in spite of the recent difficulties, they still understand each other. This simple physical act expressed that feeling that would otherwise take thousands of words.
2. Imminent murder. One of these men has decided they must kill the other, but is using this visible interaction in a public setting to feign a peaceful, compassionate copacetic relationship to ease suspicion when the other drowns while fishing on Lake Tahoe.
3. A sex thing? We’ll get to this later.
How can we tell which it was?
Well, we can’t, since we don’t have any picture evidence of the hug. But we do have picture evidence of that creepy-as-hell hug from 2006:
Holy crap that’s just so creepy. Why are either of them doing that? Why?!
Anyway. It’s pretty clear from this hug that we can eliminate the first option, that these men are hugging due to compassion or sympathy. This hug is either a murder thing or a sex thing. The clues are obvious:
It is clear that the Patriots are either going to suffer the vicious punishments handed down by Goodell and the NFL -- and more -- or Goodell has remembered his friendship with Kraft and is willing to exonerate all guilt after sniffing Robert Kraft’s face and neck.
Which? Patriots fans just have to hope for the best.
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