Jonathon Simmons dunked so hard on the Warriors that even Kawhi Leonard got excited

The only problem with this dunk is that Jonathon Simmons was being guarded by a grocery store bagger.

Patrick McCaw looks like the actor in a car commercial where a man daydreams about living out his NBA dreams while driving. In his dream, the Warriors are being destroyed by the Spurs. In a bid to find a savior for Golden State, the announcer chooses a member of the audience. McCaw, bewildered at first, rips off his street clothes to reveal a jersey and sprints down to the court to help engineer an epic comeback.

Then the car alerts him that he’s veering off the road and he wakes up to find himself driving a soccer-mom van.

But he’s a rookie and not the true victim here. That’s JaVale McGee.

You can tell that what Simmons did to McGee was great because it made Kawhi Leonard scream and applaud like a baby seal. This is the same Leonard who looked so bored during one of his own dunks that people meme’d it with suggestions that he would rather be in another profession.

Yet the dunk was so good that Leonard was the most animated person on the bench.

And it wasn’t just him either. The two assistant coaches next to him jumped up in shock before remembering that they have to be professional, or at least act like it. One even turned and pretended as if he’s looking for something as he sees Gregg Popovich approach. Even Popovich, still tense even with his team up by 27 points with five seconds left, walked back and take a seat to contemplate what just happened.

What happened was that Jonathan Simmons became the universe’s way of laughing at both McGee and the Warriors. What better way to end a game where the Warriors, armed with a roster for the ages, got blown out by a team that seems to pick up future stars from the local YMCA? What better exclamation point than a dunk from a guy who was playing for the Sugar Land Legends three years ago?

This was supposed to be McGee’s rebirth. He was tired of being seen as a joke. He worked hard in the summer, signed with the Warriors, and played well enough in preseason to make the roster. He was finally going to become the player that many thought he would be, or at least a more sensible contributor to a championship-caliber roster. The year of JaVale was on.

Then he went and got this stupid hairstyle, and the universe had to balance it out by making Simmons dunk on him. This is nothing more than karmic retribution.

What more could McGee do after than put his head down and jog forward? Each man must accept his fate eventually. And his is that, on the opening day of a new season for a team where he should be mopping up victories in garbage time, space and destiny came together to engineer a scenario where he still ends up as the butt of our jokes.

He can change teams, but he is still JaVale McGee.

Credit must be given to Simmons though. This was just one of three amazing things he did in the game. First was the silly three-point buzzer-beater at the half:

Then, he high-stepped into a chase-down block on last year’s unanimous MVP, which must have sent shivers down Andre Iguodala’s spine:

Finally, after making a mockery of the team that went 73-9 last year, he decided to end his day by blowing past a prized rookie and dunking on a man who thought he could redeem himself.

Then, he stared McGee down, looked around, and presumably wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.