The Cleveland professional sports takeover has been real. After more than five decades of no championships, the city of Cleveland has suddenly been competing for titles throughout 2016.
Cleveland had its best sports year ever, except for the Browns
Poor Browns.
Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images
The Cavaliers won the NBA championship after overcoming a 3-1 deficit against the Golden State Warriors, thanks to the heroics of LeBron James.
The Indians made it to the World Series after running through the MLB playoffs, and despite blowing their own 3-1 series lead to the Chicago Cubs, they helped give us one of the greatest, and most thrilling, Game 7s ever.
But it hasn’t even been strictly the major sports teams in Cleveland getting involved in the championships. Stipe Miocic, a native of Euclid, Ohio, won the UFC Heavyweight Championship at UFC 198 in May. The Lake Erie Monsters, who play in the American Hockey League, also won a title in 2016.
And then, well, there are the Cleveland Browns.
The Browns have very much been left out of this equation. In fact, the last time the Browns won a game was Dec. 13, 2015, when Johnny Manziel was their starting quarterback, Mike Pettine was their coach, and Ray Farmer was their general manager.
Pretty much the only thing that hasn’t changed for the Browns is they still have Joe Thomas.
We feel sorry for the Browns — while everyone is out here winning championships, they’re just trying to get in the win column.
Other things that have happened since the Browns last won a game
- Jared Goff was a starting quarterback
- The Warriors got Kevin Durant
- Calvin Johnson, Andre Johnson, Peyton Manning, and Arian Foster retired
- Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and Ray Allen retired
- Alabama football won another championship
- Gucci Mane was released from prison
- Jeff Fisher wrapped up another 7-9 season
- Michael Phelps won five more gold medals
- Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump weren’t presidential nominees
- Las Vegas got an NHL team
- Han Solo was still alive
- J.R. Smith still had a shirt
- The Cowboys still needed Tony Romo
This season, the Browns have come close, but haven’t quite figured out how to win a game just yet. That’s hard to do when you go through quarterbacks like you go through tissues when you have the flu. The Browns started the season with Robert Griffin III, and have since played Josh McCown, Cody Kessler, Charlie Whitehurst, Kevin Hogan, and even wide receiver Terrelle Pryor under center.
There’s not much for the Browns to look forward to, aside from the No. 1 overall pick in the 2017 NFL Draft, but with their luck, they’ll probably figure out a way to screw that up too. The poor Browns can just never win.
See More:
