Okay, fine, you’re allowed to propose at a stadium if you just won the World Series there

I have a hard stance that stadium proposals are the worst way to ask someone to marry you. I stand by it, but the problem with having planted my feet into this anti-Jumbotron cement is I keep having to update my rule with exceptions. The first one came this summer when someone proposed at a Dolphins’ preseason game. It was a display of such radically poor judgement that I couldn’t even be mad. I was just impressed, and had to endorse it.

And then, fresh off a Game 7 World Series win against the Dodgers, Carlos Correa proposed to his girlfriend Daniella Rodriguez, who was Miss Texas 2016. Take a look, y’all:

I mean, listen. Stadium proposals still suck. But you’re allowed to propose to your girlfriend if you just won a World Series. That’s how it works. You win a ring, you give ring. What’s mine is yours, in homers and in health, till baseball do us part, etc.

I don’t think I possess the emotional fortitude to make it through huge professional and personal milestones in mere minutes of each other without having a complete come-apart on national television, but I respect Correa immensely for being much more stable than I am.

Fox’s Ken Rosenthal had to be in on this, because he just kind of stood there like he knew something was *winky face* about to happen after he interviewed Correa. There was this silence where I was like, “Uh, dude, ask him another question,” but then Correa got down on one knee and presented a honkin’ rock to Rodriguez and I was like, “Ooooooh, I get it now.”

I gotta say, still pretty ballsy of Correa to go for it. Like, what if Rodriguez had thrown him a curve ball (sorry) at the last minute and said no? There’s a degree of superhuman confidence to a ballpark proposal that is required, whether you are a millionaire who just clinched a title or a poor schlub in the bleachers who’s just hoping for your run-of-the-mill happily ever after. And I stand by my assertion that no matter your status in the world, if you get a no, you deserve to go viral for it.

All of this raises the very important question: How many un-engaged people are there right now on the Dodgers team? Were guys from L.A. going to propose to their main squeezes, but because they lost, lacked the romantic platform? Are all the Dodgers going to have to wait to make it to another World Series, and then win, before they can propose to their significant others? Does Rosenthal therefore know the carat of everyone’s ring before their future spouse does? Did he hold onto the ring all night for Correa? Was he super nervous? Does Rosenthal have to be the ring-bearer at the wedding now? I think he legally does.

Anyway, can’t wait for the hot takes that are gonna hit the internet along the lines of, “If Correa were truly a team player and cared about the city of Houston, he wouldn’t hijack the moment by putting the spotlight on himself.”

Eff that, the dude can do whatever he wants, man. Look how happy Rodriguez is!

Bottom line: Congrats to the happy couple on the whole soulmate thing, and congrats also on being an exception to the rule. My engagement gift is this brilliant idea: Make the wedding baseball themed and put the groomsmen in Astros-orange suits like Harry’s in Dumb and Dumber. You’re welcome.