Simone Biles favored to win ‘Dancing With the Stars’ over actual professional dancer

Olympic hero Simone Biles, perhaps the greatest gymnast of all time, is favored to win the next edition of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars by offshore oddsmaker bookmaker.eu. The smarter money, however, may be on honest-to-God professional dancer Heather Morris, who’s returning to the limelight after having two children following her role on Glee.

Here’s Morris in 2009, when she was one of two people on the planet deemed worthy of dancing next to Beyoncé:

Other sports figures in the cast include Olympic silver medalist in figure skating Nancy Kerrigan, NFL running back Rashad Jennings, professional bull rider Bonner Bolton, retired Cubs catcher David Ross, and Mr. T. Veteran reality TV person Nick Viall will also be there (The Bachelor is sports).

Here is SB Nation’s OFFICIAL assessment of the competitors (odds in parentheses):

Simone Biles (+200) — Gymnasts have a track record of success on “DWTS”; Shawn Johnson narrowly won in Season 8, and Laurie Hernandez is the reigning champ. (Nastia Liukin finished fourth in Season 20 despite having the highest scores in the round she was eliminated. This show is dumb.)

Heather Morris (+500) — SHE DANCED WITH BEYONCÉ. No one else has a chance unless her legs fall off or the Russians enable a smear campaign. Maybe you’re thinking “Yeah, but Simone Biles and Nancy Kerrigan have incredible talent and experience competing in sports judged on movement.” No. This is like NASA looking at pilots to become astronauts: Heather Morris is the commander of the Blue Angels, and Simone Biles is John Travolta.

Nancy Kerrigan (+700) — The history of ice skaters and ice dancers on DWTS is only slightly less successful than gymnasts’. Most notably, Kristi Yamaguchi dominated Season 6 en route to the Mirror Ball. Evan Lysacek was the runner-up on Season 10, while Meryl Davis won Season 18 (her ice dancing partner, Charlie White, finished fifth that season). Another Olympic skater, Apolo Ohno, won Season 4, though it’s probably a stretch to correlate short-track speed skating and figure skating.

Rashad Jennings (+750) — Football players have a mixed record of success on the show, with Jerry Rice and Jason Taylor finishing as notable runners-up. Jennings has a warm personality and a bright smile, and that plus some competent performances will help him survive the early rounds.

Bonner Bolton (+950) — Is his partner a bull? No? No chance.

Normani Kordei (+900) — She is a member of Fifth Harmony, a girl group that was created on another reality show. On any other season, her experience dancing would make her an early favorite.

Nick Viall (+1100) — A useful promotional tool as ABC prepares to air a new season of The Bachelorette and/or Bachelor in Paradise.

Mr. T (+1200) — I pity the fool who puts money on Mr. T.

Erika Jayne (+1200) — I googled it for you: She is a cast member on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and a singer who makes dance music. And she has the same odds as Mr. T? Does she not have legs or something?

David Ross (+1300) — Has the knees of a 39-year-old career catcher. If you turn on the TV and see what appears to be a golem attempting the cha-cha, that’s Ross.

Charo (+1400) — Token old person.

Chris Kattan (+1500) — Once starred in a movie with Will Ferrell. That’s not gonna help him out on the show, I just wanted to try to keep it positive.