29 teams we’d love to see Kristaps Porzingis on that aren’t the Knicks

It sounds like Kristaps Porzingis really might be on the trade market. Thanks, Phil Jackson! This is sure to win over Knicks fans!

The sophomore forward is really the only good thing New York has going for them right now, and yet the Knicks have succeeded in alienating the budding star in their 31-win season last year. In March, Porzingis described the season as “a lot of confusion.” When the season ended in April, Porzingis skipped his exit interview and has gone weeks without contact with the team after going home to Latvia. (They reportedly still haven’t talked to him.)

Teams reached out to the Knicks about trading for him after that incident, and now Jackson — the Knicks’ president — has caused a “frenzy” of interest in Porzingis after not ruling out him being traded. And to top it all off, Jackson is considering Lauri Markannen, a good shooting big man who is nowhere near Porzingis’ level, as a potential replacement.

To repeat: The Knicks, a bad team, have one good thing. It’s Porzingis, a 21-year-old with superstar potential. Under Jackson, they’ve succeeded in 1) pissing him off, 2) not talking with him to calm him down after pissing off, 3) considering trading him, and 4) potentially replacing him with someone who is much worse.

We have to save Kristaps Porzingis from the Knicks. Here are a few teams I’d love to see him on.

Porzingis listens to Future before games. Future is from Atlanta. This is a match made in heaven.

The Celtics keep looking for a superstar to add next to Isaiah Thomas, so why not Porzingis?

Of the two New York-based teams, wouldn’t you say the Nets are much more functional right now?

Why not?

Why trade Jimmy Butler? Just add Porzingis.

Kevin Love -> upgrade button -> Porzingis.

LET MARK CUBAN HAVE THIS.

Porzingis and Nikola Jokic next to each other, I’m salivating.

Porzingis and Andre Drummond next to each other, sure.

You thought the Warriors were going to win the next five championships? Wait til you replace Zaza Pachulia with Kristaps Porzingis.

Porzingis is about to shoot 600 threes next season.

CALL OFF THE PAUL GEORGE RUMORS, we’re back in business.

Yes.

Sure.

Absolutely.

Erik Spoelstra might legally adopt Porzingis he loves him so much.

Little known fact: When Giannis Antetokounmpo and Porzingis extend their arms tip to tip, they encircle the globe twice.

Who’s better, Karl-Anthony Towns or Porzingis? Who cares, they’re on the same team now.

Actually, let’s give the Pelicans every big man in the league. It’s a bold experiment that surely won’t work, but at least it’s better than playing for the Knicks.

Porzingis and Russell Westbrook deserve each other.

Orlando’s been floating without a real star for a while now, but finally that changes.

Can you even imagine how annoying 76ers Twitter would be after they add Porzingis to their Embiid-Simmons-Fultz core? I cannot, but I’m so here for it.

Suns should actually go on all in Porzingis if he’s available.

Actually, this might be the one team on this list that doesn’t actually make sense. Portland already has Meyers Leonard, so do they even need Porzingis?

On one hand: Kings are very dysfunctional. On the other: Vivek is still better than James Dolan, right?

This would be the most Spurs thing ever.

INTERNATIONAL KRISTAPS.

Imagine Rudy Gobert next to Porzingis.

This would make my editor very happy so sure let’s do it.