Behold, the most absurd all-time NBA 2K lineups for every team

Dope news: NBA 2K18 will allow you the chance to play with the best possible all-time roster for all 30 NBA franchises. Ever wonder how your favorite team’s legends of yesteryear mesh with your best players today? Wonder no more, thanks to the magic of sports’ best video game.

This got us thinking about who would make each franchise’s all-time starting 5. So, we asked you and tracked your responses.

It also got me thinking about the dumbest all-time starting 5s I could put together for each team. (Why? I don’t know. I gave up trying to figure out my brain years ago).

Below are the answers to both of those questions. If you can come up with a weirder all-time starting 5 for your favorite team, let me know in the comments.

PG: Acie Law III
SG: Dion Glover
SF: Dominique Wilkins
PF: Rasheed Wallace
C: Jon Koncak

Sheed was technically a Hawk, right? Also, poor Nique.

PG: John Bagley
SG: Dana Barros
SF: Todd Day
PF: Dino Radja
C: Greg Kite

The Celtics have too many legends, so how would a team of forgotten Celtics fare? The schadenfreude already amuses me.

PG: Rumeal Robinson
SG: Rex Walters
SF: Bostjan Nachbar
PF: Yinka Dare
C: Brook Lopez

Brook Lopez has played on worse teams.

PG: Raymond Felton
SG: Rex Chapman
SF: Kelly Tripuka
PF: Byron Mullens
C: DeSagana Diop

Let’s remember the worst of the early days of the Hornets and Bobcats.

PG: Jannero Pargo
SG: Michael Jordan
SF: Brad Sellers
PF: Victor Khryapa
C: Dalibor Bagaric

What’s the worst possible team I could create around Michael Jordan? I challenge you to do better.

PG: Matthew Dellavedova
SG: Sasha Pavlovic
SF: LeBron James
PF: Donyell Marshall
C: Chris Mihm

This team is definitely making the playoffs in the East.

PG: Brad Davis
SG: Tim Legler
SF: George McCloud
PF: Charlie Villanueva
C: Shawn Bradley

Is Shawn Bradley ... the first option?

PG: Michael Adams
SG: J.R. Smith
SF: DerMarr Johnson
PF: Nikoloz Tskitishvilli
C: Raef LaFrentz

J.R. Smith is gonna take every shot, and he probably should.

My * thinking face emoji * lineup

PG: Rodney Stuckey
SG: Arron Afflalo
SF: Jonas Jerebko
PF: Jason Maxiell
C: Darko Milicic

Imagine a world where Darko turns into a star. The 04 Pistons start to age out, and it’s time for a new generation to take over with Darko as the centerpiece. It’d look something like this, right?

PG: Earl Boykins
SG: Vonteego Cummings
SF: Mike Dunleavy
PF: Todd Fuller
C: Andris Biedrins

Remember when the Warriors were a joke? Let’s go back to a time when that were true.

OK OK I get it.

I SAID I GET IT.

PG: Yao Ming
SG: Dikembe Mutombo
SF: Dwight Howard
PF: Moses Malone
C: Hakeem Olajuwon

The Rockets are the franchise of big men, so let’s make them all play together.

PG: Haywood Workman
SG: Fred Jones
SF: Paul George
PF: Tyler Hansbrough
C: Zan Tabak

Instead of punishing Paul George by making him play in Oklahoma City, why not build this roster and force him to stay?

PG: Baron Davis
SG: Marko Jaric
SF: Yaroslav Korolev
PF: Keith Closs
C: Michael Olowokandi

We could create infinite terrible Clippers starting 5s.

PG: Smush Parker
SG: Kobe Bryant
SF: Wesley Johnson
PF: Slava Medvedenko
C: Travis Knight

How long until Kobe breaks his teammates’ eardrums?

PG: Steve Francis
SG: Tony Allen
SF: Zach Randolph
PF: Marc Gasol
C: Bryant Reeves

Merge the pillars of Grit ‘N Grind with the two biggest player reminders of why Vancouver failed.

PG: Gary Payton
SG: Mike Bibby
SF: Juwan Howard
PF: Chris Gatling
C: Zydrunas Ilgauskas

The all-time Ring Chaser team! Let’s see if you can do better.

PG: Lee Mayberry
SG: Charlie Bell
SF: Todd Day
PF: Marty Conlon
C: Randy Brewer

Another team with a ton of super random dudes that have played for them. Damn.

PG: Jonny Flynn
SG: Wesley Johnson
SF: Michael Beasley
PF: Anthony Randolph
C: Darko Milicic

David Kahn really went out of his way to get all of these players. I’m speechless.

PG: Chris Paul
SG: Marco Belinelli
SF: James Posey
PF: Anthony Davis
C: Omer Asik

Take the two best players in franchise history and surround them with a visual reminder of how terribly the franchise build around them.

PG: Gary Payton
SG: Russell Westbrook
SF: Kevin Durant
PF: Shawn Kemp
C: Jack Sikma

Because this combined franchise deserves the best.

PG: Brooks Thompson
SG: Anthony Bowie
SF: Jeff Green
PF: Jeff Turner
C: Andrew DeClercq

Brooks Thompson was one of my favorite players growing up. Not joking.

PG: T.J. McConnell
SG: Allen Iverson
SF: Hollis Thompson
PF: Sharone Wright
C: Manute Bol

Will Allen Iverson ever pass? Tune in to find out!

PG: Isaiah Thomas
SG: Eric Bledsoe
SF: Goran Dragic
PF: Negele Knight
C: Frank Johnson

Three point guards that feuded with each other and two point guards you surely forgot about.

PG: Damon Stoudamire
SG: Ruben Patterson
SF: Rasheed Wallace
PF: Zach Randolph
C: Bill Walton

How would Bill Walton deal with the JailBlazers? I wanna simulate a season and see what happens.

PG: Jason Williams
SG: Doug Christie
SF: Peja Stojakovic
PF: Chris Webber
C: DeMarcus Cousins

The inverse of the Portland scenario. How will a fun team affect DeMarcus Cousins’ sour mood?

PG: Avery Johnson
SG: Willie Anderson
SF: Chuck Person
PF: J.R. Reid
C: Tim Duncan

If you look back in NBA history, the Spurs surrounded David Robinson with some weird rosters full of mediocre vets. Would Tim Duncan fare any better than Robinson did with them? I’d love to know.

PG: Mike James
SG: Vince Carter
SF: Joey Graham
PF: Rafael Araujo
C: Andrea Bargnani

How many Raptors fans would enjoy seeing Vince Carter punished with this sad team?

PG: Raul Neto
SG: Delaney Rudd
SF: Quincy Lewis
PF: Scott Padgett
C: Greg Ostertag

Remember when Delaney Rudd had an awesome moment in the 1992 playoffs? I swear, it happened!

PG: Mark Price
SG: Mitch Richmond
SF: Bernard King
PF: Charles Oakley
C: Moses Malone

Did you know all of these guys played for this franchise? Bet you didn’t, but it’s true. (Alt lineup: Muggsey Bogues | Nick Young | Ladell Eackles | Andray Blatche | JaVale McGee).