PETA would like you to stop eating animals, which are delicious. This is a tricky sell. It would be like running ads to convince you to drink beet juice instead of delicious soda, which is immediately available and ready to please all sorts of synapses and nerve endings instantly. And not eating meat is the beet juice of life.
Super Bowl commercials 2018: PETA wants you to stop eating meat, even though it’s delicious
What if I just eat less of it? Or if James Cromwell follows me around to make “tsk tsk” sounds whenever I consider it?
James Cromwell makes me listen to just about anything, so there is already a point in the ad’s favor. Still, I’m torn between two realities for this commercial:
- PETA is an end-justifies-the-means organization. It is comfortable using isolated examples to smear each and every no-kill shelter, for example, which hardly seems like a worthwhile goal.
- The meat industry is repugnant as all hell, and it deserves to have a 40,000-lumen spotlight directed on it at all times.
Both of these points deserve more examination. Which is why I’m going to open the floor with this discussion question:
Which is the most iconic James Cromwell role: Babe or L.A. Confidential?
Hrmmmm. That’s a tough one. I seem some people in here arguing about Six Feet Under, and there are yet others who would like to point out that Cromwell has convincingly played both George H. W. Bush and Lyndon Johnson. There are still others who want to mention that he’s appeared in Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Enterprise, Star Trek: First Contact, and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, all as different characters, which is incredibly impressive.
For me, though, I’m a fan of the idea that one actor has appeared on all of the following TV shows:
- Three’s Company
- Eight is Enough
- Diff’rent Strokes
- Family Ties
- Night Court
- Dallas
- Knight Rider
- Magnum P.I.
- Matlock
- Life Goes On
- L.A. Law
- Barney Miller
- Little House on the Prairie
- Alice
- Maude
- M*A*S*H
- All in the Family
- Rockford Files
- Gimme a Break!
- Hunter
- Jake and the Fatman
He appeared in every single one. My subconscious is scorched with Cromwell memories. His iconic role is L.A. Confidential, but if you had to ask me why I’ll listen to anything he says, it’s because he appeared in all of those shows and rewired my brain. He’s a gift, and I’ll do anything he asks.
Except stop eating animals, which are delicious.
I’m conflicted, too, and I really want to become the kind of pescatarian who will only eat animals that aren’t capable of doing tricks. That’s before we revisit the idea that the entire industry is poisonous and appalling, and future generations will judge us for our crimes.
But as of right now, I’m going to choose to be weak. It’s easier, and now you have a window into my cowardice. Sorry.
Is this commercial worth $7.7 million?
Considering that it’s only mildly amusing and not controversial in the slightest, probably not. An ad with, like, Fiona Apple covered in chicken blood would have made more people angry and started more conversation, which would have presented a better return on investment.
If you’re wondering how we got here, that last paragraph will do fine as an explainer. Mildly amusing doesn’t cut it. Shock is a better way to spend $7.7 million. And we’re all going down in flames.
Meat is delicious, and Cromwell is the best. Thank you for reading.
See More:
