Joe Thomas went out with a bang in his farewell press conference. It was a performance similar to that of his career — Hall of Fame worthy.
Joe Thomas’ retirement press conference was a wonderful success, just like his career
He came prepared, and it showed. For a guy who played 10,363 consecutive snaps, it’s no surprise.
He did a masterful job at mixing thank yous to fans, former teammates, coaches, security staff, media, and many others while getting in jokes that made everybody in attendance chuckle.
He took a friendly jab at former Browns GM Ray Farmer.
In 2015, the then-Browns general manager was suspended for the first four games of the season for texting the coaching staff about play-calling during games.
The Browns were also fined $250,000 for the infraction. But if there’s somebody who can joke about it, it’s Thomas.
He joked about Eric Mangini’s departure to ESPN.
Remember when Mangini coached the Browns? It was a short stint with two 5-11 seasons, but Thomas couldn’t leave him out of his goodbye speech.
“Eric Mangini wanted to reach out to me, because I had a couple of years with him, and he thought it was important to hear a few things from him,” he said. “But unfortunately, he said I was going to have to ride eight hours with him on a bus to Connecticut if I wanted to hear all about it so I turned that down.”
He recalled Brandon Weeden’s American flag mishap.
Brandon Weeden’s NFL career was doomed from the start, as evidenced by him getting swallowed up by the American flag before his first start in 2012:
“Brandon Weeden still has my phone number, somehow after all these years,” Thomas said. “He tried to call me but he ended up still being stuck under that giant American flag, so he didn’t get any reception.”
Sashi Brown’s lack of timeliness on that AJ McCarron (would-have-been) trade.
Thomas is probably the only person who could joke about this one, too. The Browns had a deal to get McCarron from the Bengals in October, but it fell through because then-GM Sashi Brown didn’t call it into the league office in time.
“Sashi tried to trade some information with me about my retirement, but unfortunately it didn’t get in in time,” Thomas joked.
The “ooh”s were abundant on that one. But hey, things worked out well since then, right?
And because everybody blames everything on RGIII ...
“In the end, we all know that the reason I retired was because of Robert Griffin III,” Thomas said. “It was definitely his fault.”
Griffin would agree:
THANKS, RGIII.
He definitely doesn’t want to jump in that cold lake with Hue Jackson.
At the end of the 2016 season, Jackson said the Browns weren’t going 1-15. “No. I’ll be swimming in that lake [Erie] over there somewhere. That’s not happening,” he said via ESPN.
He was right, and after the Browns went 0-16, he said he was keeping his promise.
Thomas used it as an opportunity to joke about it being the reason he retired:
Even if that was the reason, it’s hard to blame him, right?
Also, actually, the Browns did win a championship.
His grave is going to read as such:
His son even made an appearance!
Yes young man, that’s the Browns’ logo.
He also got relatable.
Same, Joe. Same.
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