The PGA Tour’s list of Zurich Classic walk-up music is out and OH, GOD, IT’S MAGIC

On Thursday, the Zurich Classic will introduce a new tradition to one stop on the PGA Tour; walk-up music. On Tuesday, the event unveiled its official list of songs that will be played on the first tee, and it’s magical.

The good people of New Orleans will hear everything from Scotland’s unofficial anthem to Master P as they wait for the 45 two-man teams to tee off through four glorious rounds this week. The Zurich Classic’s playlist ranges from flashes of national pride to an unironic love of 80s hits. We’d tried to wager some predictions at this year’s revolutionary list of walk-out melodies a few weeks ago, but even our wildest and most optimistic guesses couldn’t match the glory of what this ragtag crew of professional golfers came up with.

Here’s the best of the best, separated into helpful categories before choosing an eventual top three.

William McGirt/Sam Burns: “Callin’ Baton Rouge” - Garth Brooks

K.J. Choi/Charlie Wi: “Gangnam Style” - PSY

Tyrone Van Aswegen/Retief Goosen: “Africa” -Toto

Greg Chalmers/Cameron Percy and Jason Day/Ryan Ruffels: “Down Under” - Men at Work

Keegan Bradley/Jon Curran: “Shipping up to Boston” - Dropkick Murphys

Brendan Steele/Jamie Lovemark and Charley Hoffman/Nick Watney: “California Love” -Tupac

Russell Knox/Martin Laird: “Flower of Scotland “

Abraham Ancer/Roberto Diaz: “Mexico Lindo y Querido” - Vicente Fernandez

There’s a lot of regional pride at play at the Zurich Classic. Not one, but two teams from the Golden State deferred to “California Love”, the lyrics of which are printed on the state license plates. Burns, who is from Louisiana, guaranteed himself a warm welcome in New Orleans thanks to some Garth Brooks. Van Aswegen and Goosen will combine a crowd full of white people and Toto’s greatest hit, so expect a very loud, very atonal sing along.

“Flower of Scotland”, like its nation’s greatest export, makes me believe I can accomplish anything.

Chris Kirk/J.T. Poston: “Crazy Train” - Ozzy Osbourne

Chez Reavie/Lucas Glover: “For Whom the Bell Tolls” - Metallica

Ryan Armour/Johnson Wagner and Chris Stroud/Brian Stuard and Ben Silverman/Matt Atkins: “Enter Sandman” - Metallica

Tom Hoge/J.J. Henry: “Right Now” - Van Halen

Shawn Stefani/John Rollins and Zach Johnson/Jonathan Byrd: “Thunderstruck” - AC/DC

Patrick Reed/Patrick Cantlay: “Eye of the Tiger” - Survivor

Sergio Garcia/Rafa Cabrera Bello: “The Best” - Tina Turner

DA Points/Kyle Thompson: “Working for the Weekend” - Loverboy

Mac Hughes/Corey Conners: “Big League” - Tom Cochrane & Red Rider

Justin Rose/Henrik Stenson: “Gold” - Spandau Ballet

Matt Every/Sam Saunders: “Running With the Devil” - Van Halen

Harold Varner III/Robert Garrigus: “Ebony and Ivory” - Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder

Alex Cejka/Ben Crane: “Here I Go Again”- Whitesnake

Lots of Jock Jams retreads here, including entirely too much “Enter Sandman”.

Varner and Garrigus deserve extra credit for fully harnessing the power of their black guy/white guy team and throwing it back to McCartney and Wonder’s message of inclusion. Points and Thompson will become legends if they walk out to “Loverboy” and recreate Saturday Night Live’s famous Chippendale’s skit, especially since Points is, well, a larger guy. “Gold” is ... an interesting choice.

And, yes, “Right Now” was a 90s song, but like any Van Halen hit it sounds like it exploded unto the world in a cloud of Camaro exhaust in 1985.

C.T. Pan/Zac Blair: “Half Time” - Ying Yang Twins

Billy Horschel/Scott Piercy: “Young Forever” - Jay Z ft. Mrs. [SIC] Hudson

Kevin Tway/Kelly Kraft: “Gucci Gang” - Lil Pump

Gary Woodland/Daniel Berger: “Forever” - Drake

Brandon Harkins/Lanto Griffin: “Started From the Bottom” - Drake

Kevin Kisner/Scott Brown: “Slippery” - Migos

Andrew Landry/Talor Gooch: “Big Poppa” - Notorious BIG

Rap music? On the golf course? Well, I — (monocle drops into champagne flute, spittle flies onto meticulously groomed mustache as a series of gasping vowels escape from my lips)

This year’s crop features a wide swath of strong choices and legendary performers. And also Lil Pump.

You can tell the PGA Tour’s official list was curated by an intern under 25 years old, because Jay-Z is credited with “Mrs. Hudson” on Young Forever. Four golfers are hoping the mere mention of Drake at a sporting event will be enough to get him to show up while wearing their gear. And the odds Pan and Blair submitted at least three other Ying Yang Twins songs that were summarily rejected for “questionable content,” are 1:1.

Tony Finau/Daniel Summerhays: “Doo Wa Ditty (Blow That Thing)” - Zapp & Roger

The world needs to know more Zapp & Roger. Also, this feels like as good a time as any to mention Tony Finau briefly led at the Masters one day after dislocating his dang ankle.

Kevin Na/Byeong Hun An: “Make ‘em say Uhh” - Master P

Cody Gribble/John Peterson: “Careless Whisper” - George Michael

CUE THE SAX:

Gribble and Peterson are going to be gyrating their way to the tee box Thursday. God willing, they’ve grown out mustaches and will have their own saxophone attache to play them out. AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH! LET’S GET READY FOR SOME GOLF! HELLLLLL YESSSSSSSSS!

...

Phew. So. It turns out allowing golfers to showcase a little personality on the course goes a long way toward highlighting their personalities and letting the world know these guys are pretty fun.

Except you, Patrick Reed. You can pick all the Rocky montage songs you want, but you still look like the guy who exhales loudly and rolls his eyes anytime he’s forced to stand in the back of a line.