Greatest Royal Rumble results: Styles and Nakamura battle to double count-out for WWE Championship

Shinsuke Nakamura spent the lead-up to his Greatest Royal Rumble rematch with A.J. Styles relentlessly pummeling Styles’ dick. On Friday his ball-smashing strategy nearly paid off, but the former New Japan Pro Wrestling star failed to win his first WWE Championship thanks to a double count-out.

The match ended with Styles beating an exhausted Nakamura outside the ring as the referee called for the disqualification. Styles remains the champion as a result.

Nakamura came out to his new, heel-approved theme music, which is still a banger whose lyrics, I assume, are all about crotch shots. Styles entered to his standby, performed by not-Three 6 Mafia. The crowd was equally excited about each man.

Some standard grappling ensued with neither man earning the upper hand, but a series of Nakamura taunts dialed up the intensity.

A little dirty pool allowed the Japanese star to gain an advantage as a disinterested crowd decided to turn its attention to doing “the wave” instead. Eesh.

Styles battled back as the pair morphed to a more hard-hitting style similar to the matches the two had had back in Tokyo, and that seemed to revive the Saudi crowd.

A set-piece of dueling forearms cemented Nakamura’s spot as the bad guy and firmly entrenched Styles as the favorite, but a quick transition to an armbar put the American in trouble. An escape and Pele kick kept the challenger at bay, but Nakamura ducked under a Phenomenal Forearm, then took advantage of a distracted referee to obliterate Styles’ penis once more.

But Styles was able to break the pin by grabbing the rope, and his increasingly-falsetto screams only got louder as he threw Nak into the Saudi announce team’s table. His pummeling of the challenger continued through the referee’s 10 count, leading to an unsatisfying double count-out.

Styles finished up his revenge by blasting Nakamura with a chair and hitting him with a Phenomenal Forearm from the ring to the floor. It was ... fine.

Should I watch this match later?: It’s two of the sport’s top performers, but there are some lulls in the action and a lukewarm crowd certainly doesn’t help. It’s nothing essential, but it improves as the match goes on. And then it ends via post dick-punch count out. I dunno man, up to you.