The 3 phases of drinking Hennessy, performed by Jordan Bell at the Warriors’ parade

Warriors rookie Jordan Bell stole the show at the team’s championship parade on Tuesday, much thanks to Hennessy-enhanced fun.

Bell exhibited all of the phases one goes through when throwing down some of that delicious nectar that is Hennessy. Henn is a cognac rollercoaster that can provide incredible joy, but also bring you down to levels where you never want to be.

Drinking Henn is a lifestyle choice that’s not for everybody. Luckily for Bell, he was more good than bad, much like the Warriors.

Once you start sipping Henn, you feel your worries start to wash away. When you’re around some good company, that washing away is sped up. And there’s no better company than thousands of your biggest fans celebrating your accomplishment.

Eventually, the Henn helps you get to a point where everything feels good. Any underlying bad feelings that you might not even know are there, are gone.

So when Bell got to this point at the Warriors’ parade, the Henn high was easy to see:

“I’m on Hennessy now, I don’t know what champagne is,” is a beautiful display of the worry-free lifestyle that Bell is now on with the Henn in him.

That “HEEENNNNNN ... HAAAAAA” is literally the cognac talking. Bell is well on his level at this moment in time. That continued, as the rookie taunted the Cavaliers by sweeping with a broom, and holding up “4-0”:

This brings us to ...

The temperature was 73 degrees in Oakland yesterday, which isn’t a terrible Henn drinking atmosphere. But that weather does go against you when you’re in an active situation like Bell was. You risk dehydration, and I can’t imagine there was a lot of food being eaten to soak up some of that brown liquid.

The risks mattered not, at least in his mind, because Bell on his Henn high. He decided to seek out more after he ran out of the bottle he was drinking from straight:

We all have our different tolerance levels for different alcohols. Henn has been known to take people down faster than others, and give you a false feeling of invincibility.

It’s safe to assume that Bell was sharing the first bottle, so going for more might not have been the worst idea here. But pulling from a second bottle is still a dangerous game. He would have probably been fine with what he had already consumed, yet he persevered.

Here comes that low that Henn can bring. Bell actually turned out better than most (Henn’s gotten us all at some point), but he still needed to bury his face in an air conditioner before being interviewed by NBCSN’s Kerith Burke. Those 73-degree temps got him.

But he was cool. Or at least, as cool as one person gone off the Henn could be. He couldn’t really ascertain whether or not the interview was live, and could only focus on needing a lighter for his cigar. To be fair to Bell, that really was the most important thing in that moment, right?

Bell had a successful Hennyafternoon celebrating the Warriors’ championship. He had his own bottle, got some free Henn from a fan, and had a really good time. For that, he’s a winner all over again. If you are going to have a Henny-inspired outing, Jordan Bell is a fairly good example to follow.