José Ureña is in the news, so I’m going to post several pictures of him spitting and hope the SEO pays off

Ronald Acuña, Jr. is incredibly good at the game of baseball. Just monumentally, ridiculously good, and he came into Wednesday night’s game with something like eight homers in his last seven at-bats. And that made José Ureña hit him with a baseball for some dumb reason.

Which means that Ureña is in the news. Which means people are searching for him. Which means I have to come up with an angle. Think, dammit, think. Find something.

Except I have an ace in the hole: It turns out that Ureña loves spitting. It also turns out that Getty photographers are very interested in this spitting. So I’m going to post a bunch of pictures of him spitting, mostly because I’ve been holding this in for a couple months, and this is the perfect opportunity to get this off my chest.

Ureña likes to spit while wearing his home jersey.

He likes to spit in his alternate jersey.

He likes to spit in his road jersey.

He likes to spit when his back is to the camera.

He likes to spit when he’s giving the camera a profile.

Folks, what I’m telling you is that José Ureña likes to spit, and I feel that if people are googling “José Ureña” and “Ronald Acuña, Jr.,” they should get a result that’s just a bunch of pictures of Ureña spitting. It seems appropriate.

Sometimes Ureña spits really big.

And then he likes to walk through it.

All things considered, this could have been much worse:

So those are the facts. José Ureña is in the news, and because I want to get this post all over Google news, now you have pictures of him spitting. Use this power wisely.