Nike’s self-lacing shoes must be charged like a goddamn cell phone lmao

Nike introduced new basketball shoes this week, which weren’t just any kind of basketball shoes. They’re called the Adapt BB, and they’re self-lacing, bluetooth-enabled sneakers. Not speakers. Sneakers.

They debuted last week and NBA players have already been wearing them on court. Jayson Tatum, Luka Doncic, De’Aaron Fox, and Kyle Kuzma are just a few that gave them actual run this week on the court.

There are no laces, and I really like that. The shoes also light up when you tighten or loosen them, and the user can choose the color.

Do I need shoes that light up? Nope. Do they look cool anyway? Yep. My parents never let me get the light up shoes as a kid, so maybe this is where I finally get my revenge and wear these around as a grown adult.

A’ja Wilson, Breanna Stewart, and Kelsey Mitchell all got plenty of love in this campaign.

We aren’t talking enough about this. With what these shoes offer, I’m not trying to charge my shoes at night. I mean, LOL. What if I forget to charge them? Does that mean I can’t tie them? What if they go dead while on my feet? What happens then — can I not untie them?

I have enough chargers that I need to keep on me. I don’t need to charge my shoes too. Whew.

I understand a charge last two weeks but that’s actually so long that I’d never remember if I charged them or not.

It’s 2019 and we’re talking about shoe chargers.

In all seriousness though, Nike has bigger dreams than this with a Bluetooth-enabled shoe. This is just step one. The Verge’s Ashley Carman — who also hosts Why’d You Push that Button, of the best podcast on the internet — reviewed the shoes from Nike HQ herself, if you’d like to learn more about them.

Onto the rest of this week’s B-sides.

THE KNICKS CAN’T EVEN GET ABBEY ROAD CORRECT. WHY ARE THERE FIVE PEOPLE??

It was only a matter of time before this duo began to give us the best content we’ve ever seen. Just look at Noah!

And he’s already out of control, running faster than he should. Just like his dad.

What a great pair.

“You stupid. This ain’t Burberry. It’s New Balance.”

The funny part isn’t just that he was texting, because it’s Klay and I expect such things. Nor is it that he has a dunk bet going on with Zaza Pachulia, because that’s also expected.

It’s the way in which he read aloud every single word as he typed his reply.

“You ... have ... one ... dunk ... I ...have ... 11 ... this ... year....pay me.”

I’ll be honest: I didn’t love this little challenge the Internet was doing. There was zero way I posting a picture of me from 10 years ago, and to be real, I didn’t need to see yours either.

But, I’ll admit, I enjoyed these NBA versions.

The Nets’ point guard continues to wear really interesting shoes this year. I have no idea where he gets his inspiration from. Maybe he just wakes up, thinks of something he likes, and then puts them on his shoes. If that’s the case, I’d also put Beyonce on my shoes.

It’s common for me to post ridiculous outfits or $3,000 hoodies in B-sides, but that’s not what Bogey is wearing here. This is straight from H&M and only $20. At full price, it was still only $35. Something we can finally afford!

The NBA and the internet are so intertwined at this point, it’s wild. And I’m still not over how pretty those Vice jerseys are.

He clearly lost a best to Larry Nance Jr., but any chance I have to tell you how great Hart is, I will take.

I don’t know why. Just watch it. It will make your day better.

See ya next week, friends. Tweet me your B-Sides, and I’ll include them in the next round.