Several years ago, the internet fell in love (Or whatever the internet equivalent of love is — Memefatuation? Viral-yearning? But I digress.) with Purin the beagle goalkeeper. And don’t get me wrong: Purin was a very good dog who featured in some very good videos. But this goalkeeping cat kicks the absolute crap out of her, like Lee Cattermole going in two-footed on some unsuspecting pensioner.
This cat is pound for pound the best goalkeeper in the world
Goalkeeper Cat is a master showman.
Dogs might, in general, be sweeter and more eager to please than cats, but I think we can comfortably say cats are the clear winners in terms of style. Purin has the basics of being a goalkeeper down. Stand in front of the goal, catch the ball. She’s sure-pawed and un-flashy. But honestly, screw un-flashy.
Is hiding out of sight before flashing into view and contemptuously batting the ball away ideal keeping form? It is not. Is it much cooler than being staid and stolid? Yes. When we watch sports, we’re not just looking for raw efficiency or technical perfection, although I certainly admire and appreciate those qualities. We’re also looking for entertainment.
There’s a reason, for instance, that a 1995 friendly between England and Colombia is remembered, and it’s not because of René Higuita’s perfect form:
Is this making an easier save far harder than it should be? Yes. Is it courting calamity? Absolutely. Is it cool as fuck? Yes, and that’s the key to the whole endeavour. (Should you wish to see more Higuita, here is a longer video.) Goalkeeper cat is a show-cat, and instinctively understands the need to entertain.
While Purin was an endearing servant of the sport, reflecting years of understanding and coaching, she could only reflect the light football shines at her. Goalkeeper cat, on the other hand, is a star in its own right.
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