Desperate Blazers fans resort to doughnut murder

Popular Portland doughnut spot Voodoo Doughnut always supports the Blazers, but this is too far, guys:

First of all, you stole my lifelong idea to use a pretzel as a murder weapon. Second of all, there’s no need to stab a perfectly good doughnut, even if “voodoo” is in your name. Just feed it to a horse or something. Everyone knows you hex things by feeding effigies to horses. Doesn’t everyone know that?

Update: Hadn’t even noticed the boot is stepping in poop. Ruthless, Portland. #PoopBoot