Tommy Tuberville really, really, really, really, really wanted out of Lubbock

Tommy Tuberville left at least three recruits at the dinner table Friday night at The 50 Yard Line Steakhouse and never returned.

Where he turned up, of course, was as the new Cincinnati Bearcats head coach.

The 50-Yard Line Steakhouse has very solid reviews both on Yelp and Trip Advisor. Just imagine how quickly Tuberville will jet from one of those chilighetti places for which Cincinnati is responsible once that Western Kentucky job opens up in a few months or days. Laugh if you want, but moving to Bowling Green would put him a couple hundred miles closer to his ultimate destination. (Ecuador.)

Tommy Tuberville does not accept coaching jobs. He plays the world’s most elaborate game of Risk. You can’t collect a new card each turn unless you take over a new territory.

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