Remember former three-star wide receiver recruit Jay Harris, the kid you found out Tuesday afternoon turned down his scholarship to play football at Michigan State so he could be a rapper? It wasn’t really like that: it turns out Michigan State pulled his scholarship after Harris posted a series of his videos to YouTube. It was, per a Michigan State spokesman, a mutual decision.
Rap lyrics by former Michigan State WR Jay Harris we’ll never get to hear Mark Dantonio say
Michigan State gave receiver-turned-rapper Jay Harris the boot, a la Oklahoma’s Josh Jarboe incident. But what if Mark Dantonio provided hype man vocals for Harris instead? The important questions.
Gregory Shamus
It’s not surprising when you watch his most popular video, “DatBull 4 Life.” Harris/DatBull does some stuff that you’re sorta not supposed to do if you’re a college football player, and says he likes doing other stuff you’re not supposed to do if you’re a college football player (notably drugs, more drugs, misogyny, and stuff about having lots of money, which the NCAA would probably take more issue with than anything else).
Instead of questioning the decision-making ability of a 17-year-old with a mayyyyyyybe unpromising rap career, we’d prefer to imagine DatBull speaking entirely in Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio’s voice.
“She dancin’ on my dick like she practicin’ her ballet.”
“Bilingual, yeah I speak that money fluent.”
“It’s mollys in the building, so you know I’m popping three.”
“I was charged with having this sick flow, so they sent me to the doctor, and yeah I had to go. They gave me kush and lean and said everything you do, you better do it for your team.”
[Well, pretty much an entire song called “Kush and Lean.” Or, for that matter, just Dantonio bobbing his head to Three 6 Mafia.]
“I feel like I’m smoking on a spaceship.”
[A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT SEX I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE MARK DANTONIO DOING.]
“I’m smokin’ on that dank, smellin’ like Pepe Le Pew.”
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