The best places to watch college football this week, according to Google+ reviews

This is the time of the year when the creep of inhospitable weather begins its march south, so this is one of the last weeks when you can enjoy a game pretty much anywhere in America. After all, if anything’s going to make you miserable on a live college football Saturday, it had better be what’s on the field!

But who to watch? Where? We’ve narrowed the candidates down to some of the best games of the week (plus a MAC game if you’re one of those hipster types), then consulted the most reliable* source of reviews and information anywhere on the Internet: Google+.

*[citation badly needed]

Let’s start off small with the MAC’s thrilling contest between Army and Kent State on tap for Saturday afternoon. As you might imagine, the Google+ presence is a little quiet — and this David Mease character seems unduly harsh for someone who’s not even going to offer an explanation — but we do have one helpful comment in the mix:

In case you were curious, three years ago Kent went 5-7 while averaging 17 points per game. Magic!

If you’re heading down to Gaylord Family-Oklahoma Memorial Stadium (G-Foms, I call it) (no I don’t) (nobody does) you’re in for quite a treat; the stadium has a robust 4.7 rating among the dozens of helpful Google-dot-com users who have come by the page. Let’s take a look!

Well, things got awkward there at one point — one worries what the threshold for “much” would be — but all in all, not too shabby!

Here’s the thing about Google+: it is probably worse than asking the people you know on Facebook. For one, the only qualification needed to provide a ranking is “uses Google,” which doesn’t seem like an especially high standard of expertise. Then you have to realize that since none of these reviews are solicited, the only people leaving them are the ones who think “the entire world needs to know what I think about this stadium where my favorite team just so happens to play,” so you get very helpful reviews such as this:

The best place. On Earth. You have the whole planet, and you’ve chosen West Virginia’s stadium. Screw you, the Louvre! Kashmir ain’t got Big 12 football! New Zealand? More like Snoozey-land! Hong Kong? Hong Wrong! The world must convene in Morgantown.

Now we’re talking. A cathedral of football, one of the most iconic spectator experiences one can have (to say nothing of actually playing there, which must be awesome in the most literal sense of the word). Certainly the attendees must be so delighted by their experience that they’ll be leaving detailed, gushing, thousand-word reviews of their time at Bryant-Denny, yes?

Okay. Well that’s not exactly enlightening. That said, saying, “Roll Tide,” is really fun when someone will say it back, and I mean that completely sincerely.

This is one of the best-reviewed stadiums in college football, which isn’t that big of a deal (remember, we’re talking about the geniuses of Google Plus dot com), but there’s such reverence that even the modern-day Lenny Bruces cut FSU a little bit of slack.

Even that hater gave it two stars and “can’t wait to come back.” Methinks the reviewer doth protest too much!

The rest of the reviews are your standard pleasant fare, almost all of the five-star variety, but then there was one — and I swear I didn’t make these up or edit them in any way — that, well, read it for yourself.

What? What are ... what are you insinuating about Bobby Bowden? I have so many questions that I really don’t want the answer to right now. Enjoy your time in Tallahassee, everyone, I guess. I need to go lie down.