I think your conference is actually bad: College football power rankings before bowl season

There are three postseason games whose results actually matter, and they’re in the College Football Playoff. All the others are meaningless exhibitions that are hopefully fun for players and fans. They do not define entire seasons. You know this, and I know this.

This does not mean that I’m not going to go bonkers if the Dollar General Bowl goes to overtime, but we need to head off the post-bowl takes right here and right now. What you did from September until now is what we should care about, offseason bowl bumps be damned.

How did your conference end the part of the season that actually mattered?

No. 1 ACC

Oh I bet you thought the Big Ten would be here, didn’t you? Oh no. After an exciting weekend in New York for the Heisman ceremony, there could only be one top conference, because only one conference features a man who would dare to wear this suit to this year’s Heisman ceremony.

That’s enough to carry the water for the whole league TBH, because man, does it look good. The nation’s most outstanding player and dresser stands a cut above the rest, with his Louisville team finishing 9-3.

Clemson is the league’s standard bearer and Playoff entrant at 12-1. This was a weird season in which the Tigers limped the thing to the finish. But things can kinda be explained away, when you look at how Clemson is using Deshaun Watson, the only player who challenged Jackson for the Heisman. We’ll see if they ramp up his carries again.

Despite SB Nation’s best efforts, 8-4 Pitt did not make the Playoff. Even if they beat one CFP entrant and another that got pretty close (Penn State), no dice for the #putPittin movement. But a Panther brought home the most important award when lineman Brian O’Neill won the Piesman Trophy Friday night.

Besides Virginia Tech, the ACC Coastal was creepily similar. UNC, Miami, Pitt, and Georgia Tech finished 8-4. The Heels, Canes, and Panthers also each finished 5-3 in conference play. Parity, or something like that.

The rest of the league: Florida State finished 9-3 (hopefully they’re done complaining about Dalvin Cook not being invited to New York for the Heisman). NC State finished 6-6 (kinda ran outta steam down the stretch, too). Wake Forest finished 6-6 (it’s Wake, so it’s impressive). Boston College finished 6-6 (somehow). Syracuse finished 4-8 (still doesn’t matter because Dino Babers gave us the most touching postgame speech of the season). Duke finished 4-8 (Cutcliffe just didn’t have the magic this time). Virginia finished 2-10 (this is still the best metaphor for their season). Notre Dame finished 4-8.

No. 2: Big Ten

Despite Penn State fans’ insistence that they were wronged out of the Playoff (which PSU wasn’t, because 11-2) this was the most intriguing conference.

Wisconsin shut us all up by winning their division and finishing with a 10-3 record.

The 11-1 Buckeyes are headed to the Playoff after dispatching 10-2 Michigan in the clash of the titans that actually lived up to the billing. It’s kinda nice to have both teams at a high level, and those core four teams combined to give us a Big Ten with as much intrigue as there’s been in the league in probably a decade. It was fun; let’s do it again sometime.

The rest of the league: Iowa finished 8-4 (God, the Outback bowl is going to be horrid). Nebraska finished 9-4 (just finish 9-4 so I can get these Bo Pelini jokes off). Indiana finished 6-6 (yeah, that messy scandal might not be going away though). Minnesota finished 8-4 (and can finish 8-5 for the third time in four years). Northwestern finished 6-6 (we’ll see if bowl practice can finish the short-yardage issues). (Maryland finished 6-6 (all in all not a bad debut for D.J. Durkin. Now what will he do in recruiting?) Michigan State finished 3-9 (we need a deep dive on what happened here). Rutgers finished 2-10 (and I’m proud of them for winning twice). Illinois finished 3-9 (tough to Lovie anything about this season). Purdue finished 3-9 (new coach, though). Notre Dame finished 4-8.

No. 3: Pac-12

It had to be someone, didn’t it? Washington, you’re 12-1 and you’re going to be 12-2 just in time for the new year after playing Alabama.

But for now, I will respect Chris Petersen’s lack of respect for ESPN’s ratings and keep it moving.

USC in the Rose Bowl is the most interesting game. After a torrid end to the season, the Trojans finish 9-3, and they get Penn State on New Year’s Day. There are only two ways that game goes. Either Penn State pulls some Trace McSorley magic, or the Trojans blow the freakin’ doors off of ’em.

Stanford had a similarly solid end to the season, and they get the contrasting style in North Carolina in the Sun Bowl. It is also the last time we get to see treasured son Christian McCaffrey, so watch this game, too.

The rest of the league: Washington State finished 8-4 (the Cougars’ best lineman didn’t even make the All-Pac 12 team, but he’s on our All-America team). Cal finished 5-7 (and Sonny Dykes still has a job). Oregon State finished 4-8 (lost a talented coach on staff, too). Oregon hired Willie Taggart (The record doesn’t matter, because they hired Willie Taggart). Colorado finished 10-3 (and we continue to mourn the loss of Rashaan Salaam). Utah finished 8-4 (frozen chicken bowl time). Arizona State finished 5-7 (and lost their best assistant coach). Arizona finished 3-9 (and took a blow to their recruiting class). UCLA finished 4-8 (remember Brett Hundley though? He played in the Packers game Sunday). Notre Dame finished 4-8.

No. 4: Big 12

Texas finished 5-7, which you don’t care about, because Tom Herman is Texas’ new coach. Sunday night, he dined with Texas luminaries at the state capitol.

That is Herman playing ball in the way you have to play ball as Texas’ head coach. That is also Herman wearing jeans and a blazer.

Tom could learn a thing or two from Oklahoma State’s Vincent Taylor. The Pokes finished 9-3, but Taylor’s sock game is the real winner. We hung out at the Piesman and compared looks.

The rest of the league: Oklahoma finished 10-2 (two Heisman finalists essentially invited just so it wasn’t only Lamar and Deshaun Watson; Jabrill Peppers was there, too). West Virginia finished 10-2 (and Dana Holgorsen gets rewarded for his troubles). K-State finished 8-4 (that is an extremely quiet 8-4). TCU finished 6-6 (ignore that and look at these cakes). Texas Tech finished 5-7 (but the Red Raiders’ punter kicks balls and shoots them out of the air). Baylor finished 6-6 (and made a weird coaching hire that I’m not sure is a good fit). Iowa State finished 3-9 (what’s it like to move from covering Oregon to covering Iowa State?) Kansas finished 2-10 (here is a link to Kansas’ recruiting class, which I doubt you’ll actually click on). Notre Dame finished 4-8.

No. 5: SEC

I’ve thought about a photo much more than I should in the last few days.

This was at the Playoff press conference, and it’s Saban in his purest form. This is him displaying disdain for the trivialities that are anything not inside the white lines of a football field.

Saban’s ideal football environment would be a biodome on a desert island. For now, he controls this college football ecosystem. You know the Tide are 13-0. I doubt that number on the right is gonna change.

But while Alabama existed on a higher plane, other teams in the conference did play football this season. So the SEC is No. 5 right now.

The rest of the league: Florida finished 8-4 (and thank the Lord the Gators are team bloomin’ onion). Tennessee finished 8-4 (Josh Dobbs will finish his career as one of the most prolific Vols to ever be under center). Georgia finished 7-5 (uhh, where are the Dawgs on the all-SEC team?). Kentucky finished 7-5 (can a Wildcat love Lamar Jackson?) South Carolina finished 6-6 (you can only dodge the Birmingham Bowl for so long). Vanderbilt finished 6-6 (yes, that Vanderbilt). Mizzou finished 4-8 (don’t care, their new defensive line coach’s name is Brick). Auburn finished 8-4 (and the Tigers got a massive QB commit over the weekend). LSU finished 7-4 (the search for an offensive coordinator continues). Texas A&M finished 8-4 (you need to read this post about an ill-fated Aggie bowl campout). Arkansas finished 7-5 (pigs are getting some new digs too). Mississippi State finished 5-7 (and you thought Starkville wasn’t a bastion of higher learning, didn’t you?). Ole Miss finished 5-7 (big coaching staff shakeup came last week to the Rebels). Notre Dame finished 4-8.