Australia, Ireland and a NASCAR track: Ranking 2016’s college football neutral sites by oddity

There’s a lot to dislike about neutral-site college football games. Almost all of them take place in cavernous, antiseptic NFL bunkers, which is terrible. It’s terrible not only because the public is already subjected to NFL games in those sterile settings, but we’re often losing out on huge non-conference matchups that should be taking place in some of the sport’s most frenzied atmospheres.

These neutral-site games are here to stay, though, and every now and then they do bring a glimmer of sweet lunacy by taking place in intensely weird places. I have taken the liberty to rank every neutral-site location in the offing for the 2016 season by sheer oddity.

Once again, great matchups like Alabama-USC and Houston-Oklahoma will be wasted on NFL laboratories. Money makes this sport move, so these games won’t be going away anytime soon, which makes it all the more depressing.

Illinois schools periodically have games in Soldier Field, and football games at baseball stadiums have happened several times, so this is pretty standard. Regardless, NIU-Toledo should be a delightful game.

New York City! College football hotbed! You can hit pause on the Rutgers jokes, as the game features Notre Dame and Syracuse, New York’s favorite college football (and basketball) team.

The Rocky Mountain Showdown between Colorado and Colorado State has been played in the Broncos’ stadium for nine of the past 10 years. This is not odd at all.

The Cocktail Party takes place here every year. However, Notre Dame is playing Navy in Jacksonville, which makes very little sense outside of the Navy having a pretty big presence.

The Red River Shootout is here every year, but New Mexico and Air Force are also playing during the Texas State Fair. I don’t know why two teams from Not Texas are in this stadium at that time, but it’s really strange, and I am here for it.

Ronald Martinez, Getty

The stadium itself isn’t weird, but Baltimore is still a fairly strange setting for the Army-Navy Game, which has been played in Philadelphia for a large majority of the rivalry’s history.

Orlando is hardly a new market for college football, but it sits outside the nominal Dallas-Atlanta orbit. The game between Florida State and Ole Miss should be excellent, which helps.

So, BYU is playing West Virginia in Washington’s stadium. The stadium itself is one of the worst in the NFL, and there is absolutely no reason for a college game to be played here. The only redeeming quality is the culture clash between the fan bases. The location is weird in a bad way, but the matchup is weird in an exceedingly good way.

San Antonio falls outside the normal rotation, so that’s pretty strange. The Alamodome is kind of a sad facility, built to lure an NFL team that never came and now gets used for the Alamo Bowl, UTSA games, and periodic garden shows. The game will feature Army and Notre Dame, which makes very little sense and will most assuredly be a complete keelhauling.

It’s on a different continent, so by definition this is extremely odd. At least for me, however, the games in Ireland never really did much. This will be the sixth college football game in Ireland, and the third since 2012. It’s weird, but it’s not that weird anymore. Add in a thoroughly forgettable matchup between Georgia Tech and Boston College, and this is not nearly as odd as it should be.

There aren’t many NFL venues that seem cool, but Lambeau is definitely one of them. It’s still a shame that this isn’t in either Camp Randall or Death Valley, but if you have to go to a neutral site, this may be the best possible choice.

Additionally, I am enthralled by the vision of LSU fans washing over a town in Northern Wisconsin like a horde of locusts, except instead of eating the crops, they make jambalaya in parking lots.

A football game played in the infield at a NASCAR track with a Jumbotron so big, it’s called COLOSSUS TV. Any other year, and Tennessee-Virginia Tech is easily the best neutral-site game.

Matt Hazlett, Getty

The quality of the game doesn’t even matter -- Cal vs. Hawaii will be pretty low -- because the setting is just so bizarre. A football game in Australia is so delightfully unnecessary, and it’s made even better by the weird opponents. This barely even takes into account how different this game will look compared to the usual activities.

Jason McCawley, Getty

Kickoff will be at 10 p.m. ET. That’s not all that different for a normal Cal kickoff, but instead of being three hours ahead, many viewers in the States will be 14 hours behind. This is just wonderful.