It’s impossible not to run into Tiger Woods, energy beverage enthusiast, in Augusta

Tiger Woods, an uber-famous but aggressively private-to-the-point-of-reclusive superstar, is available for photographs all over Augusta during the Masters this week. He’s out and about in every corner of town, smiling politely and drawing attention.

It’s not Tiger, but more of a 2-D version. The people still want pictures. “I don’t even know if he drinks that stuff, to tell you the truth,” says Todd, the assistant manager at Kroger in Martinez, Georgia. “Tiger is a different kind of cat.”

Todd probably has the appropriate level of skepticism. But walk into any store in Augusta that sells food, beverages, and basic provisions and you’re bound to run into the greatest golfer of all time with a wide grin hawking Monster Energy drinks.

The 43-year-old four-time Masters champion is now a pitchman for an energy drink thought to be swilled at the X-games and NASCAR races, not, uh, Augusta National and the Masters. So many bizarre things have happened on the Woods timeline since he last won a major championship in 2008. There have been so many turns that no one could have conceived. That one of sports’ top earners, who used to pick and choose luxury cars and financial services to endorse, is now spread across the Southeastern United States in gas stations, grocery stores, and Walmarts posing with a neon green energy drink probably qualifies as another unexpected turn.

Whether the likeness of a 43-year-old Florida golf dad with a fused back has done anything to boost sales of a product presumably targeted for a divergent demo is unclear. But people sure do seem to love his 2-D presence all around town.

“There’s a lot of hype behind it,” says Keith Blackwell, the sales manager for Augusta Coca-Cola, the distributor responsible for doling out the 2-D Tiger. “One store hears another store has it and they call up asking, ‘Can I get one of them?’”

Blackwell said that there are 40 to 50 displays set up all around Augusta in every chain of grocery store, various gas stations, and Walmarts in an attempt to “saturate the market.” An inquiring mind asked if there were any cardboard cutouts left to spare, but he indicated every single one was out greeting the “patrons” and regular every day customers who probably do not care there is a golf tournament of some consequence nearby.

Cynthia, a greeter at the Wal-Mart on Bobby Jones Expressway, took it as form of commitment that Tiger would play the Masters. Referring to the Tiger cutout lording over a a display of Monster, beef jerky, and beer, she points and recalls asking during its installation, “You’re putting him up there, that means he’s coming right?” Fortunately, this was a Masters unlike the several in recent years when a shroud of doubt about Tiger playing went up to a last-minute decision. Had there been some doubt, however, the local Coca-Cola distributor undoubtedly would have had the first tip about his intentions.

As for the energy drink-beef jerky-beer triumvirate, Cynthia, who confessed she occasionally sips a Red Bull (it was not held against her), added it’s moving so fast they’re “stocking it again every morning.” That’s the Tiger effect. As we’re often told, Tiger doesn’t just move the needle, he is the needle.

Michelle, an assistant manager at the Sprint Foods, said she’s seen the smiling Tiger “everywhere” in her travels around town. As for the one in her store, it has served as an impromptu picture booth as people come in to pay for their gas or pickup convenience store items. “A ton of people have come in and taken pictures with him,” she added. She could not recall, however, a definitive instance of 2-D Tiger closing a sale.

The Kroger skeptic said people kept taking pictures and indicated sales were high at his establishment, but added, “Monster is huge in the South but mostly because of NASCAR.” Perhaps one day this alt-beverage will soak the fairways of the genteel game of golf as it has the stock car super speedways. The Kroger skeptic gets back to the question of whether Tiger the endorser is actually a consumer. Nearby, an elderly woman pushing her cart laughs at this thought, the smiling Tiger cutout, and politely asks which aisle has coffee.

At Publix on Furys Ferry Road, there were no reports of rampant picture-taking but rather continued customer requests to take Tiger home with them.

The cashier at the Circle K on Washington Road said business is brisk. “They come in and take pictures,” she said. “They buy a lot more beer and more Monsters. Just a lot more stuff.” Whether the increased business was the result of the Tiger effect or the fact that thousands of travelers are in town for one of the biggest sporting events in the world was not specifically stated. We’ll choose to believe the sales boost is the imprimatur of Tiger bringing taurine to the quarter-zipped and pleated-khaki dads of America.

Tiger has every beverage retailer cornered outside the gates. But what about inside the gates, where everything is de-branded? The products may not be labeled, but this is Coca-Cola territory. The Augusta National-Coke relationship goes back to the club’s founding. Robert Winship Woodruff, AKA “The Boss”, took Coca-Cola to new heights and was a close friend of Augusta founder Bobby Jones. He was one of the club’s earliest members. Coca-Cola and Augusta developed a strong and beneficial relationship from the start. Curt Sampson, in his book The Masters, wrote that President Richard Nixon never received an invitation to play Augusta National, in stark contrast to presidents who preceded and came after him, partly because he spurned Coke and had been a Pepsi man in public.

So there may be no brand on the label but it’s Coke coming out of that fountain. And that’s who is responsible for Tiger’s energy drink omnipresence around Augusta this week.

So could we see “Energy Beverage” or “Taurine Drink” on the fountain alongside “Cola” and “Lemon Lime” and “Sports Drink” at the Masters some day?

“No way,” responded one concession stand manager. Then came a hedge, “Not on the horizon, as far as I know.” The door of more hopeful future cracked open.